He made all the stars and knows them by name

He determines the number of the stars and calls them each by name. Psalm 147:4 NIV


Right now we are experiencing some of the most uncertain times in our lives, across the world as a whole. I will be honest, though I am a follower of Christ I have been anxious and scared as I see more and more cases of Covid19 creep up. I have epilepsy and other conditions that make me part of the vulnerable population. A woman in Italy died who was otherwise healthy, aside from her epilepsy. My mother has an autoimmune disorder. My father has survived two strokes, but still has complications from the second stroke he had a few years ago. My sister has autism and cannot talk, and the regular flu can almost send her to a hospital. Several of my new friends have lost their jobs right now as more and more restrictions are made in the best interest of the whole. One of my best friends/ my older sister has a compromised immune system, as well as one of her twin sons. Everything's happening so fast. Things we never thought would happen. Many are upset because of all of the precautions being made. Some are simply scared. Some are becoming violent. Some even fellow Christ followers are mocking others who are scared, calling them “fools”. That type of behavior breaks my heart. I am writing today to offer hope to any and everyone who reads this. And to call on my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ to be the example in this time. We need to show the world the love of Christ now more than ever. We need to pray several times a day, asking God to spare us and to destroy this disease. We need to put others above ourselves.

It is easy to be angered that our daily lives have been changed so abruptly, but we need to look at the bigger picture, as well as what God says in his word. First, we need to remember to love everyone. Jesus commanded us to love everyone as He has loved us. What does that mean? Loving others unconditionally. It doesn’t matter whether they share the same beliefs as you. It doesn’t matter their age or ethnicity. Jesus calls us to love as he has loved us and he loved us enough to die on the cross for us to be saved, so we can certainly deal with some inconveniences to show love to our neighbor. Everyone is our neighbor, by the way :).


My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. John 15:12 NIV

Blessed are those who have regard for the weak; the Lord delivers them in times of trouble. Psalm 41:1 NIV


Next we need to turn to what God says in his Word about how to respond to disaster. We need to humble ourselves, realizing we are weak and need his strength and then we need to pray. We need to ask forgiveness for any sin we have done and ask God to heal everyone and to stop the epidemic. God has always came through for his people and we need to rely on him right now more than we ever have. It’s okay to be afraid or nervous as long as we take that and give it to God, trusting him in the midst of this. We must remember that the devil is busy too and right now he wants to use this to divide and bring out the worst in humanity. But we can choose Christ and love instead. We can listen to God’s truths instead of the lies the devil may be putting in our heads right now. Remember God gave David the ability to conquer Goliath. David was small, had no armor except a slingshot and rock. But he was brave and called on God to give him the strength he needed. God did exactly what he promised. God also brought his people out of captivity when they were enslaved in Egypt and protected them by parting the red sea. God is the same God today as he was back then! That means he can and will protect us and hear our prayers. He will help us get through this awful virus. We can call on God and renounce the evil virus in Jesus’ name. But we need to trust in him and we need to surrender ourselves to his will. Going along with surrendering ourselves, we are to obey the word of God. That means that we are to respect those in authority and pray for them. So as believers we need to be the example by praying for all of our leaders and respecting whatever measures they put in place to keep us safe. We need to pray they are kept safe and make the best decisions for us all.


David said to the Philistine, “You come against me with sword and spear and javelin, but I come against you in the name of the Lord Almighty, the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have defied. 46 This day the Lord will deliver you into my hands, and I’ll strike you down and cut off your head. 1 Samuel 17: 45-46 NIV

 Then Moses stretched out his hand over the sea, and all that night the Lord drove the sea back with a strong east wind and turned it into dry land. The waters were divided, 22 and the Israelites went through the sea on dry ground, with a wall of water on their right and on their left.

23 The Egyptians pursued them, and all Pharaoh’s horses and chariots and horsemen followed them into the sea. 24 During the last watch of the night the Lord looked down from the pillar of fire and cloud at the Egyptian army and threw it into confusion. 25 He jammed[a] the wheels of their chariots so that they had difficulty driving. And the Egyptians said, “Let’s get away from the Israelites! The Lord is fighting for them against Egypt.”

26 Then the Lord said to Moses, “Stretch out your hand over the sea so that the waters may flow back over the Egyptians and their chariots and horsemen.” 27 Moses stretched out his hand over the sea, and at daybreak the sea went back to its place. The Egyptians were fleeing toward[b] it, and the Lord swept them into the sea. 28 The water flowed back and covered the chariots and horsemen—the entire army of Pharaoh that had followed the Israelites into the sea. Not one of them survived. Exodus 14: 21-28 NIV
Let everyone be subject to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God .Romans 13:1 NIV
We don’t have to fear, even when it is scary. We can turn to God’s truth in his word and we can lean on each other right now. Despite the way things look now, I can see this being a time in history where we all come together in a special way. A time where we show the love of Christ unlike any other time and a time where we see more souls being saved. God feeds all of the animals, he will surely take care of us. Instead of looking at the problem, we should look to God and his kingdom. Remember as Christ followers we are called to be loving, selfless, and brave because Christ is where our strength comes from. We know where our hope comes from, and I pray we all show that to everyone during this time of need. Let’s humble ourselves and pray!

Look at the birds of the air, that they do not sow, nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth much more than they? “And who of you by being worried can add a single hour to his life? “And why are you worried about clothing? Observe how the lilies of the field grow; they do not toil nor do they spin, yet I say to you that not even Solomon in all his glory clothed himself like one of these. “But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which is alive today and tomorrow is thrown into the furnace, will He not much more clothe you? You of little faith! “Do not worry then, saying, ‘What will we eat?’ or ‘What will we drink?’ or ‘What will we wear for clothing?’ “For the Gentiles eagerly seek all these things; for your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. “But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. Matthew 6: 26-33 NIV

If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land. 2 Chronicles 7:14 NIV



Now is the time we need to share the truth of the gospel with everyone because whether this virus does it or natural causes, everyone will eventually pass on. If we don’t accept and trust Jesus as our Lord and Savior, we will go to eternal suffering. But if we ask Jesus to guide us, we will be save and will have everlasting. Please I beg you to consider now more than every giving your life to Jesus. You just need to trust that he is Lord of all and ask him to be your savior. I want none of you to perish. I want you all in Heaven one day with me celebrating when there will be no more sorrow and the earth will be restored to its perfect glory before sin corrupted it. God loves each of us so much. He loves all of his creation, as he knows the stars by name. But more so, he loves each and every human. He knows everything about you and he loves you more than you’ll ever know. Please consider accepting his free gift of salvation. xoxo

When waves threaten to take over: spiritual attacks

Ever feel like everything is finally going good. Your walk with God is going well, your life circumstances are looking up, and you are feeling great? Then out of nowhere, all chaos breaks loose. It seems like in a split second the entire world is against you, and you don’t know how to keep your head afloat. It seems as though you are just one second away from drowning. I’ve been there and I know each of you have too. In fact, I am undergoing a spiritual attack right now as a type this. But, unlike numerous times in the past, I know what I need to do to win the battle, and it starts with recognizing the signs that a spiritual battle is imminent. A few years ago God blessed me with one of my best friends, a woman named Angela, who is like the older sister I always wanted. You’ve probably read the story before on one of my other blog posts about how it was divine intervention because the odds of us meeting where 1 in 10,000, literally. And we met at the perfect time, going through similar things, and ever since have become best friends. She is someone I look up to a lot because she is very wise and is a strong Godly woman, firmly rooted in her faith as a Christ follower. She has been through a lot, and at times her life resembles the life of Job. Yet, through each and every storm she endures, she preserves, and is living proof of James 1:2-5.


 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds,  because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.  Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.  If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. James 1:2-5 NIV


One day during one of our phone conversations, we discussed spiritual attacks, and she said something that stuck out to me, and has continued to help me. She told me that Satan (the devil) knows each of our weaknesses and when he attacks, you will often be able to know because he tends to use the same patterns. He may be clever, but he isn’t God and he isn’t omnipotent, so he cannot know our thoughts or be everywhere at once. Each of our weaknesses are unique to us, but we all have them. The devil wants to thwart any good plans God has for your life, so he is going to attack when God is doing something big in your life. Satan also wants to be as sly as possible, and subtle, so that his attacks can work. But, we can outsmart him. We have to notice the patterns and the things he throws at us to try and ensnare us so that we can fight against it. Knowing is half of the battle, because the longer we deny or ignore what is in front of us, the further we will fall; the more damage will be done. For some, a weakness may be a sort of temptation such as alcohol, sexual sin, anger...etc. For others, it can be self pity, or feeling like you need to go back to toxic situations and people because suddenly they need reach out to you, even though nothing has changed. It can also present itself in a specific illness that comes on right when you had plans to go on a mission trip (different from chronic illnesses). It can be getting into a heated argument with the same person about the same thing again. It can be so many things. But the point is as a Christ follower you will experience spiritual attacks, especially when you strive to live a Christ pleasing life, and there will be techniques the devil uses to try and destroy you. But don’t fret, remember how we fight our battles and who is stronger: Jesus!

When we can recognize a spiritual attack, what we do next is crucial. We cannot just sit back and let it happen, we need to do something. However, we as humans are weak and unable to battle. We need God to fight for us. We have to surrender ourselves to him, letting him have his way in all areas of our life. We have to ask for forgiveness for any sins we have committed and ask God to lead and protect us. We have to pray against the evil that is coming at us and trust that God is bigger than any waves coming our way. Though we stand on the beach looking at a tsunami wave coming directly at us, we have to look above and let God do the work. He is faithful, He is just, He is loving, and He is all powerful. He can and will carry us through and we will come out the other end, stronger than before. But we have to let God fight the battle, we cannot fight it ourselves. If we fight it ourselves we will get overtaken by the waves.

1 Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. 2 I will say of the LORD, “He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.” 3 Surely he will save you from the fowler’s snare and from the deadly pestilence. 4 He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart. 5 You will not fear the terror of night, nor the arrow that flies by day, 6 nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness, nor the plague that destroys at midday. 7 A thousand may fall at your side, ten thousand at your right hand, but it will not come near you. 8 You will only observe with your eyes and see the punishment of the wicked. 9 If you say, “The LORD is my refuge,” and you make the Most High your dwelling, 10 no harm will overtake you, no disaster will come near your tent. 11 For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways; 12 they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone. 13 You will tread on the lion and the cobra; you will trample the great lion and the serpent. 14 “Because he loves me,” says the LORD, “I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name. 15 He will call on me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him. 16 With long life I will satisfy him and show him my salvation.” Psalm 91 NIV
In times of spiritual warfare, we turn to God’s word so that we can dwell on his truths and keep them in our heart. We also should ask our close brothers and sisters in Christ to pray for us too, for where two or more are gathered, there God is in the midst of them. We are to help one another out, because this life isn’t easy and we need each other. Whenever you feel a spiritual attack coming on, stop everything and pray. Then ask people to pray for you too, and make sure to get into the Bible. Don’t fight this battle alone. We weren’t made to fight alone.

For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them. Matthew 18:20 NIV

Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. Galatians 6:2 NIV

You may be wondering “ Why does the devil want to attack me?” Well, there can be many specific reasons but his main goal is he doesn’t want us to prosper. He doesn’t want us to live the blessed life God intended for us. He wants as many people to reject Jesus as possible and go to hell with him because misery loves company. He can’t take a Christ followers’ soul, but he can do whatever we allow him to to wreak havoc in our lives. But if we resist him, he will leave us alone because he realizes he is wasting his time. We are always victories over Satan because we belong to Jesus. So please my friends don’t let whatever you are facing today scare you or discourage you. Instead turn to God and those you trust. God will hold you up and you will make it through. God bless <3.


Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that the family of believers throughout the world is undergoing the same kind of sufferings. And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. 1 Peter 5:8-10 NIV

Am I really loved?

It’s a warm rainy spring day. You wake up to the sound of birds chirping and your cat (or dogs) cuddling next to you and your husband or wife laying next to you. They tell you they love you and how much they mean to you and you smile and tell them you love them too. The work day is a bit stressful and you deal with a few mean people, some who talk down to you and belittle you. At the end of the day you text your best friends and ask them how they are doing. You text a bit and then the conversation ends with them reminding you how much you mean to them. You laugh and shake your head because despite what they tell you, deep down you don’t believe them. Does this sound like you? If so, keep reading. And let me let you in on a secret. The person I described above is a lot like me. It wasn’t until recently that I even considered that I may be getting in the way of letting others love me, including Jesus. I read an article written by Charles Stanley, a revered pastor I listened to with my dad growing up, today on how sometimes we don’t allow God’s love in. I thought no way I can’t be like this because I know Jesus loves me, but the more I read, the more I realized I do in fact stumble with this a lot; not just with letting God love me, but letting anyone else close to me love me too. It’s as if I put a shield up and refuse to believe that anyone loves me. I know I am not alone in this and it can make you feel isolated, so my hope is today I can help you start a journey to accepting love.

Why do I struggle with believing that others really love me? Well it’s a complex issue in my case and I am sure it is the same with you. Part of it is the spirit of rejection I have mentioned in a previous blog. No matter how much I pray against it, it seems to follow me everywhere I go. I experience a lot of people not liking me, people thinking I am strange, people thinking I am a burden. For example, random strangers will say things about how they don’t like my hair or they will tell me to stay away from them even when I wasn’t planning on bothering them. It shows up in friendships that ended up not being real, where I was really just befriended as a means for the other person to gossip behind my back and bring me down. It has manifested in “friends” telling me that every single decision I make is wrong. That nothing I do is right and that I need to give up on my dreams. People who tell me that I am wrong for liking the season I like (Summer), liking the breed of dogs I like, for liking the type of music I like. It shows up when a doctor won’t even let me see them for something abnormal with my physical health and they get frustrated with me on the phone. It shows up when I am a greeter on Sunday morning at church and someone hugs everyone but me...making up an excuse that they don’t hug people at all, even though I just watched them hug several people. It has shown up when I wanted to be a Bible study leader because I had a heart for the freshman college students, but I was told I wasn’t good enough to be one, despite my peers being told told they would make great leaders. It has shown up in an ex who stalked me and wanted me dead. And it shows up with me being a reject in society since I have chronic illnesses. The spirit of rejection convinces me a lot of times that I am worthless, unwanted, and I often begin to take it to heart, and assume that if many people feel that way about me, then all must. I am sure some of you have felt the same and I am so so sorry because it is not a fun experience. The thing is, despite the rejection you face, it doesn’t define you. It may feel like it does, but I promise it doesn’t. You are not what others think of you. God does see you differently.

Another thing that personally holds me back is shame and guilt. I am ashamed that I have epilepsy and chronic migraines because it means I am less than others (at least that is how I see myself). If I struggle with a sin, I must be an awful Christian and thus I feel ashamed and must hide away. I sometimes feel shame for just existing. I feel like I should be doing more with my life and I feel shame when I don’t measure up. Whenever I do mess up, even after I ask for forgiveness, I find myself still feeling guilt. And because of that, I want to punish myself. So I remind myself that I am a mess and then I begin to think does God really even love me at all? I mean how could he love me? I’m just a mess up who never gets it right and I burden everyone I come into contact with, so surely I burden God too. So then I want to avoid everyone that I am a burden too, and sometimes I think God is happier if I avoid him too, because surely he has more important creations to spend his time with. I know for a fact I am not the only one who struggles with this because I have spoke with many who have felt this way, which is why I like to be an open book even though it puts me in a really vulnerable place. Oh and let me tell you these thoughts we have, they are lies. They are the lies from Satan himself and they are a way to steal our joy, which comes from God’s love (And the love of others in our lives).

Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. 9 Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that the family of believers throughout the world is undergoing the same kind of sufferings. 1 Peter 5:8-9 NIV

The devil wants to harm us and bring us down. He is evil and his goal is to either bring people to hell with him, or for the believer, make their life as miserable as possible. If he can get us to believe lies, then we may miss some of the great things God has planned for us. Anything we struggle with, we don’t struggle with alone. You are not alone and what you feel is valid. We live in a broken world due to sin and sadly as a result we will struggle with our worth. Many believers will hide their struggles because they want to appear like they have it all together. The problem with this is it leads us to believe there is something wrong with us and that we are to suffer alone in silence. I strive to stop that, as I believe the best way to beat the adversary is together in unity. If you ever are struggling, don’t be afraid to reach out to me or someone else you trust. We are meant to help each other out and we need to each other.

So how do we combat the struggle of not believing we are loved? Well first we pray and we ask God to help us understand and feel how he really thinks of us. We also spend time in the Bible, reading verses about God’s truth so that we can replace the false, negative thoughts with truth. We also confide in someone we trust and ask them to pray for us to be a listening ear. It is a journey and it may take years to eventually overcome this struggle. But we have to start somewhere and today is the day. Ask God to reveal how he really sees you and lean on not your own understanding, but what his Word says about you. I know I am far from being to the end of my journey, but I am thankful I am closer to where I need to be than I was yesterday. We need to begin allowing God and others to love us. Instead of pushing them away, we need to tell ourselves that what they say is true. That we are worthy of love because Jesus loved us so much came into this world to die for our sins. If we accept his free gift, we can rest assured that everything he promises the believer will come true. God doesn’t lie. If we learn to accept love than we can experience the joy and peace he desires for us, and we can let him take the reigns in our life. We can live in freedom knowing that he will take care of us. When we allow love in we can enjoy relationships the way God intended and we can live life to the fullest. I pray that if you haven’t already that you would accept Jesus into your heart as your Lord and Savior, and that you ask God to help you see yourself as he sees you. You are so loved. God bless you my friend and Happy Valentine’s day. God is the ultimate valentine <3.

And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them . There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. 1 John 4:16,18 NIV

But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5:8 NIV

But you, Lord, are a compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness. Psalm 86:15 NIV

Wonderfully Made

To see all of my blog posts check out this link here: 

https://traveldogloverangel.blogspot.com/  Enjoy!!!

This week was a rough one, one of the hardest I’ve had in a long time. I had a migraine for nearly five days straight, some rough seizures, and my PCOS hormone imbalances are causing everything to flare up. I am thankful for flexible jobs because I don’t know what I would do without them, honestly. Three days in a row at home sick because I couldn’t be out of bed longer than a few mins. It has gotten pretty boring, but despite the pain and grief, I thank God for each new day because there are blessings in my life even when trials arise. My dogs keep me from being alone, and their 24/7 affection feels like Jesus is giving me a hug himself. My Mikki is so on top of her alerts that she makes sure I am safe if another seizure is about to come. And my husband, parents, and friends have been truly supportive. Having chronic disabilities and illnesses makes me sometimes question was it worth even going to college. Will I ever get to use my Master’s degree for what I intended to? Will I ever get better? Will my life always be dictated by being chronically sick? Will everyone I adore eventually give up on me? Sometimes my outlook is bleak, but believe it or not there is still some good that has come out of dealing with my chronic illnesses, and other unique aspects of me. I want to share those today as well as encourage you that each of you has something special about you that is needed in this world, and that will bless God. So wherever you are in life, whether it’s struggling with sickness, excelling at your career, a new mother, struggling with poverty, etc. you have something special that only you can add to this world given to you by God <3.


One of the good things that actually comes from having seizures is that sometimes I am the most creative after them. I am not sure if it is because of the surge of electricity going through my brain, or part of a complex partial seizure, but sometimes I get some of the best ideas after. I often get ideas on good topics to blog about, new games to play with the dogs, creative date ideas, the desire to do art, etc. I have always been a creative person, but the occasional spark in creativity is a benefit if there is any to be had from epilepsy. Sometimes a person I haven’t talked to in a while pops into my mind and I pray for them because I believe God let them come into my mind for a reason. Other times it is after a seizure that I have a different angle to a problem that seemed impossible to solve. Sometimes I get euphoria instead of deep sorrow after seizures and that feeling of relief and joy is much desired. Don’t get me wrong, seizures are terrible, but it is nice to know there is a light at the end of the tunnel.


Another way having a chronic illness still has its blessings is that I have more time to think about what God wants me to share with you all, and it allows me to give hope to a group of people who feel isolated and alone. A lot of people with conditions like me are isolated from family, friends, and even the Church. Oh yes, I am sometimes afraid to tell other Christians that I have chronic illnesses because they have assumed it is my fault and blamed me for them. They have told me that I have them because I don’t have enough faith in Jesus or because of sin in my life I haven’t let go of. Sin I am not even aware of. They don’t understand that when they pray over me and I still have epilepsy and chronic migraines, it is not because God didn’t hear him or that he can’t heal it. God can choose who he heals and who he allows to go through something and regardless of whether I am healed or not I will follow him because he is a good God. Pain and illness in the world is a result of sin and one day it will be fixed. So no matter what, I won’t be sick forever. Even if I am sick until I pass on to eternity, I know in Heaven I will be sick no more. And I want to share my hope with anyone and everyone, especially those who feel hopeless. Because, Jesus desires all turn to him and be saved. Jesus loves all. God so loved the entire world that he gave his son for us. Anyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved. If we ask Jesus into our heart, we have hope for now and forevermore.


For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. John 3:16 NIV


Aside from chronic illnesses, my brain is wired differently than others. I can hear sounds wayy louder than the average person, I can smell things as good as a dog, and I am sensitive to every external stimuli. While this can be overwhelming sometimes and lead to anxiety and extreme sensory overload, it has its benefits too. I have prevented a house fire a few years ago because I smelt burning on the small Christmas tree we had before anyone else did. No one smelt it, they almost thought I was crazy, until they saw the scorched leaves. It also helped me warn my parents that their hot water tank was going out a few weeks before it actually went out. I could smell the burning from the running sink water all the way across the room. I can feel music and see it. Some songs are so much more than just songs to me. It goes beyond smell and hearing too. I can feel how people feel toward me, regardless of what they say. I can feel if someone hates me, or is someone genuinely cares. When I am around someone who actually cares about me, I can deeply feel their love. It’s hard to explain, but it is an overwhelming sensation that for a split second I almost feel like I am going to either faint or float out of my body. Then I feel a sense of peace that stays with me a few days after. Likewise, if someone is angry I unfortunately absorb it and feel stressed. If someone is sad I feel their sorrow as if it were my own. Sometimes it leads me to want to do whatever I can to take it away, even if it means harming myself for their benefit. So in a way, this has also hurt me at times when I haven’t had good boundaries and some have taken advantage of me. But, I have learned the value of boundaries and that has helped a ton.

I feel deep empathy and love for those I care about, deeper than I can describe. I just feel things deeply. I was always called highly sensitive, but I actually have a condition that explains it. It is not a mental illness or a chronic illness, just a way my brain is uniquely wired. I was diagnosed a few years ago and my entire life finally made sense to me. Because I can feel so deeply I am able to develop deep relationships. I also desire to get to know people on a deeper level and strive to be a blessing in their life. When God puts someone in my life that needs me, I will do anything to make sure they know they are valued and loved. Which leads me back to the main topic this post was supposed to be about. God gives each of us talents and gifts, as well as spiritual gifts given by the Holy Spirit once we are saved. So he gives natural talents and supernatural gifts. For some, natural talents may be the ability to sing beautifully, or play a sport nearly flawlessly. For others it may be the talent of playing an instrument, leading, being good at mathematics, engineering, acting, etc. For some the talents are very obvious from the outside looking in. For other ones, it takes getting to know a person a little bit better. However, just because your talent may not be as obvious as Idina Menzel aka Elsa’s voice, it doesn’t mean it isn’t special and needed. God made you for a purpose and for this current lifetime. He knew what he planned for you long before you existed. Being a strong mother is a talent that not everyone has, and is very precious and needed for your children. Writing, creativity, desiring to serve others above yourself, these are talents that are valuable. The person who can drive a bus is just as important as a pastor. The person who teaches young children is important. The person who can handle the general public and the stress that comes with it, is important and of utmost value. We all have things about us that make us unique beyond our talents too. Our likes and dislikes, our laugh, our hair, our hobbies, they all make you “you” and you are cared about so deeply, by God and others who are around you. I promise you, you mean more to others than what you even know.

Along with natural talents, for those who accept Christ, we are given Spiritual gifts by the Holy Spirit which are meant to edify our fellow brothers and sisters in Christ. I will eventually dedicate a post more in depth regarding things, but for now I wanted to touch on them because they add to what makes us unique and wonderful.


There are different kinds of gifts, but the same Spirit distributes them. 5 There are different kinds of service, but the same Lord. 6 There are different kinds of working, but in all of them and in everyone it is the same God at work.7 Now to each one the manifestation of the Spirit is given for the common good. 8 To one there is given through the Spirit a message of wisdom, to another a message of knowledge by means of the same Spirit, 9 to another faith by the same Spirit, to another gifts of healing by that one Spirit, 10 to another miraculous powers, to another prophecy, to another distinguishing between spirits, to another speaking in different kinds of tongues, and to still another the interpretation of tongues.11 All these are the work of one and the same Spirit, and he distributes them to each one, just as he determines. 1 Corinthians 12: 4-11 NIV

Some of us are given the gift of wisdom, in which God provides wisdom into a situation or circumstance that is above what we would know on our own. Others, like myself, are given the spiritual gift of discernment, which is the ability to discern whether something is of God, secular, or demonic. Some can lay hands on the sick and God will heal the person that they laid hands on. Each spiritual gift is just as important as the next and they are part of what makes each of us unique too. Again there is a lot more to touch on here, but that will have to be a post within itself.

How we may assume God is going to use us and our life may be completely different than what he actually ends up doing. Our paths are all going to look different because he has a different will for each of us. However, we all will unfortunately be affected by this broken world and by sin and we all fall short of his Glory. The good news is that by asking Jesus to be our savior and cleanse us, we no longer are destined to hell. We no longer have to live life in a constant state of uncertainty because we will have God guiding us and he only desires good for us. Knowing that God is in control of our destiny and has good for us allows us to have peace. It also allows us to be content with whatever path God has for us and to trust that the struggles won’t be forever. Even if some last our entire earthly lifetime, there will be a day when they are no more once Jesus returns and restores the earth. Evil will be gone and only joy will exist! What a day! We don’t have to wait around sad until that day comes. Instead we can enjoy how God has uniquely made us and worship him every day, giving thanks that he created you just the way you are. You are wonderfully made by him. All of you are precious. You may not look like everyone else, you may experience things others don't, you may not fit what society calls "normal" but what you may think is not amazing about you may just be one of her best assets. Don’t forget your worth, ever.

To see all of my blog posts check out this link here: https://traveldogloverangel.blogspot.com/ Enjoy!!!


For you created my inmost being;you knit me together in my mother’s womb.I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;your works are wonderful, I know that full well. Psalm 139:13-14 NIV

Eternity

Eternity has been on my mind a lot lately. From the signs of the end of times all around us (such as disaster, imminent war, natural disasters) to near death experiences I have experienced from my epilepsy (occasionally a seizure in my sleep causes me to stop breathing and it is my service dog Mikki and my hubby who help to make sure I begin breathing again), to losing my favorite uncle two years ago….and….having found out one of my cousins committed suicide...today!! :( This life is but temporary and I tend to get caught up in everyday things like work and stress...It is so easy to take each breath for granted. But then there are things that happen that are a sobering reminder that our time on earth is short and we are here for a purpose, a God given purpose.

Each and every one of us has a purpose, even when we cannot see it. I know I struggle a lot with knowing my purpose because I look at the person I “should be”. I see myself as needing to already be in my dream career because I have a Masters degree and the desire to lead/ assist people in becoming the best they can be. I also see myself as someone who should have a drivers license, children, and no debt. But, because of my epilepsy I cannot drive until I am 6 months seizure free. I had no idea I had epilepsy until almost two years ago. The first few seizures I had I thought were just weird panic attacks or other occurrences. When I graduated from my undergrad and got engaged, I had this huge picture of living the best life I could live. I began my Masters degree and you all know from my other posts that my health began to decline during it. Diagnosis after diagnosis we finally figured out what was wrong a few months after I completed my Masters degree. I told myself I would give myself a few months to get it under control and then begin the pursuit of finding the dream job. Well, that didn’t go as planned. I did learn that my calling may actually be teaching rather than being a director over a company, which is cool. But, I can’t help but feel that my online teaching job is still not where I should be. I should be teaching in person, a college professor, something that shows I have some sort of worth… Anyway, as you can see it is easy for me to get caught up in my shortcomings, so caught up that I almost get in a rut of just getting through the day, forgetting that God is working on a much bigger picture than I can see.

If I focus too much on earthly matters, I may miss ways He is working in my life. For the start of 2020 I have been focusing on taking life one moment at a time and trying to get the most out of it. I want to continue living that way because I want to allow God to use me however he pleases, and because I am learning that he sometimes uses everyday encounters as something much more. The people I encounter while out eating, or shopping, may just be people who need someone to help them smile that day. Or perhaps they are going through something and need prayer. Or God could even use me as a way to show the love of Jesus to them. Having a fun conversation with someone might seem meaningless, but sometimes those conversations lead to friendships, and then to opportunities to be a huge blessing to someone. I want to be used anyway that God can use me. I enjoy being a part of the bigger picture, even if my section of it is just a few minor details.

I tend to think oh God won’t use me because I have epilepsy. Or God doesn’t have much purpose for my existence because I am not as accomplished as some of my peers. Heck I may never have kids because of my PCOS, yet another strike against society’s standards. Yet, that is not how God sees me. I am learning that the best way to counteract the negativity and to focus on what God has in store for me, is to focus on eternity. After all, what comes after this life is forever...yes FOREVER. And for the Christ believer, it will be perfection. Once all is said and done, God will recreate a new earth and restore all of its perfection, prior to the fall of man and sin. There will be joy as we praise God forever! We will all have special roles and there will be no more death and sorrow. I also believe my animals will be there because God has made them such a central part of my life, Mikki and Luke have both saved my life at different times. Also why would God make animals and say they were “good” just to destroy them and never look back. God is a good God and a loving God. When I think of living in harmony surrounded by perfect love, my beloved animals, and how no more sorrow or death will occur...it reminds me that anything I endure now is worth it. We all have to endure sorrow because of what happened when man brought sin into the world, but the sorrow won’t be forever.

Then I saw “a new heaven and a new earth,” for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and there was no longer any sea. 2 I saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband. 3 And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Look! God’s dwelling place is now among the people, and he will dwell with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. 4 He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away. Revelation 21:1-4 NIV

The righteous shall inherit the land and dwell upon it forever. Psalms 37:29 NIV

The wolf and the lamb will feed together, and the lion will eat straw like the ox, and dust will be the serpent’s food.They will neither harm nor destroy on all my holy mountain,” says the Lord. Isaiah 65:25 NIV

Then the angel showed me the river of the water of life, as clear as crystal, flowing from the throne of God and of the Lamb 2 down the middle of the great street of the city. On each side of the river stood the tree of life, bearing twelve crops of fruit, yielding its fruit every month. And the leaves of the tree are for the healing of the nations. 3 No longer will there be any curse. The throne of God and of the Lamb will be in the city, and his servants will serve him. 4 They will see his face, and his name will be on their foreheads. 5 There will be no more night. They will not need the light of a lamp or the light of the sun, for the Lord God will give them light. And they will reign for ever and ever. Revelation 22:1-5 NIV

For the creation waits in eager expectation for the children of God to be revealed.For the creation was subjected to frustration, not by its own choice, but by the will of the one who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be liberated from its bondage to decay and brought into the freedom and glory of the children of God. Romans 8:19-23 NIV <............... See this right here shows that our animals will be in Heaven because they have been subject to the curse of sin and they await the day that they no longer are burdened by it. 

What we do on this earth now matters because it determines our fate. We can’t get to Heaven any other way but by accepting Jesus as our Lord and Savior. I hope if anyone hasn’t done that yet and is reading this, that you would consider it. You don’t need to change anything about yourself, come as you are. Just ask Jesus to come into your heart and to be your Lord and Savior. Admit that you are broken and need healed. He will honor that prayer and you will soon see him at work in your life in ways you never imagined. I can promise that. I have seen God at work. I have had my life spared more than once because of God. I have found my perfect spouse because of God. I am still alive because of God. I have my house we bought because of God. Every other lender said no because of student loans, but God gave us a realtor who fought for us and found us the lender that would say yes. Our house we have now was the perfect price we needed to be within. God kept my dogs, our home, and I safe from a fire the neighbors had the other day. Oh and he kept them all safe too and kept the fire contained to a small area. You see, I pray not just over my household but over the households of my neighbors too and God honored that. When Luke died, I thought how could i go on without my heart dog...but God gave me Mikki who is another heart dog of mine, and he gave me Petra and Mabel to bring me joy too. He is a good God. I don't think I can ever love another dog the way I love Mikki. The bond we have is unique, special, rare. When I think of my blessings and eternity, it helps remind me that everything is going to be okay. For the believer the end is good. God wishes for none of us to perish in hell and I wish the same. I want each and every one of you reading this to be in Heaven one day with me too and I hope and pray that it will be so.

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. John 3:16 NIV

If you declare with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. 10 For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you profess your faith and are saved. Romans 10:9-10 NIV

If you enjoyed this post, check out my blog on how each of my animals have blessed me :) and my blog post about why I believe what I believe. <3 

My girl dogs being silly at my parents' house. They got all tangled in their leashes lol

https://traveldogloverangel.blogspot.com/2018/01/god-has-abundantly-blessed-me-through.html

https://traveldogloverangel.blogspot.com/2018/10/too-blessed-to-not-believe.html

Maybe that longing is for a reason

Maybe……..... there is a reason I still desire a best friend, even in the midst of having several close friends. I know I have talked about this before and how I have considered that I am simply not meant to have that special bond with someone. But maybe I was wrong? Maybe a part of the reason I don’t have a “best friend” is rooted in some things deeper than all of my “bffs” having their own #1 best friend. Maybe one or two of my close friends also doesn’t have a top bestie, but most do. I think a huge reason as to why I don’t have a #1 bestie is because of fear, which unfortunately seems to be my stronghold in life. My mind always likes to go to the worse scenario, even though I am quite the idealist. For example, because of having lost more than one pet young and suddenly, I am afraid that all of my dogs will die tragic deaths. It plays over and over in my mind and it’s hard to push the intrusive thoughts out. I try my best to shower my dogs with as much affection as I can each day just in case it’s my last moment with them. After Robbie’s job had two workplace fires a week apart recently, I worry that I will lose him to fire too. Fear is awful and I wish there was more awareness on how it is hard to get rid of. hmmm….

Ok back on topic, when it comes to friends, I always worry that I am one step away from pushing them all away from me. One step away from being too broken for them. One step away from being easily forgotten. Part of this I know is rooted in some experiences I have had, such as toxic former friendships and betrayed trust. Years of being told I wasn’t good enough, that I was dumb, fat, ugly, etc. So I guess it kind of became natural for me to assume that was what everyone thought of me. Just like my fear of fire and death goes back to an incident that occurred when I was only 2 years old. It’s apparent to me that in order to overcome my fears, I am going to have to constantly give them over to Christ. I thought once or twice would do it, but maybe it needs to be a daily thing for me. It is something I am going to work on and I would love your prayers too if you don’t mind. So it’s obvious my close friends that I have now actually like me because they go out of their way to encourage me, give me gifts, and they are relationships where both parties edify the other, showing love and selflessness. It is wonderful and I am still getting used to the concept. So, I am not afraid of being myself around these friends because they all already know me pretty well, even some of my deepest secrets and struggles, and yet they still like me. Who would have thought? Really cool huh?! As I know it is the same for you, your close friends adore you and all of you.

So where does the fear factor in then? Well it shows itself in making new friendships. I am quite comfortable with the friendships I have now had for several years because they are well rooted and nurtured. But new friendships are terrifying. Remember the person I wanted to get to know better but the feeling wasn’t mutual? Well I feel that a lot. I do experience a lot of rejection from others, even Christians, when I simply say hi to them or try to be friendly. And I mean in places where building friendships should be safe, such as at Church. A month ago I was volunteering as a greeter at my church and I was having a great time until someone refused to hug me or shake my hand. She made an excuse, but proceeded to kindly greet everyone else around me. That hurt, more than I would like to admit, and it reaffirmed my belief that I shouldn’t try and reach out/ make new friendships because I will be wasting my time or just end up hurt. I know this isn’t the way to live, in fear of the what ifs… but I also know all of you experience this fear in some capacity. It is why anxiety, loneliness, and suicide are on the rise in our society. We swap out meaningful relationships for supernatural ones. And perhaps after you reach a certain age, you don’t really need new friends. Who knows? It’s just, I am a person who is always willing to get to know someone new. I want to experience the whole body of the church and everyone’s stories and experiences are precious to me. I value communion.

The friendship of Johnathan and David in the Bible has always stuck out to me. They have such a close, special friendship. A friendship like any of their others, and it is one that glorifies God. They care deeply for each other and want to see the other succeed in their walk with Christ. Maybe, that type of friendship is still possible today? Maybe my longing for a #1 best friend isn’t so silly after all. Maybe, it is what we are meant to have all along? I know my heart is full after talking to and/or spending time with any of my besties, so how much more would be if I had one where we were each others #1? Or maybe my longing is rooted in the need for relationship outside of just family and marriage, and with busy schedules it is so hard to keep up with close friends (and believe me I am guilty of not keeping in touch). But I really think if we are supposed to have friends that sharpen us, edify us, and keep us accountable, than maybe it isn’t such a far reach to want one friend that is your specific go to. I definitely always want to have the close friends I currently have and I am blessed to have them. But I think you get what I mean. Maybe we all are meant to have a special friend that we are committed to and go out of our way to talk to more and check up on more. Maybe this one friend holds us accountable and helps keep us in line and vice versa. Maybe this one friend shares  a special connection with us and together as a duo they help each grow closer to Christ. They help each other have happy marriages and motherhood by being the main shoulder to cry on.

Upon doing some research earlier, it appears that many Christians desire deeper intimacy (and I’m not talking sexual here) in their friendships, but they feel they don’t have the time for it. Or they fear it won’t work. It seems fear seems to harass people other than me, unfortunately. But on the bright side, I think this longing for deeper relationships we have can be a sort of revival. After all, God calls us to care deeply for our spiritual brothers and sisters. Maybe the special friendships we have with them can be what points others to Christ. Both because of how the bond is unbreakable and because the bond causes each person to have support to become the best version of their self they can be as they are sanctified and become more like the image of Christ.

I promise I am not always down on myself, like I have been in some of my recent blog posts. I do like aspects of my personality and I’d like to think I have some spiritual gifts that would benefit other believers and vice versa. I also think I would make a great #1 bestie for someone, and that there is one who would make a great one for me too. I also believe it is good to have more than one close friend, so why not have both?! Maybe my #1 bestie is one of my besties and I don’t even realize it. I am going off of assumption that they each have their own #1 best friend. But there is potential for any of them to become my #1. And even if that never happens, we all will still be close friends because the friends I have now are more valuable than gold and will always be special to me. It’s also possible my #1 bestie is still someone I have yet to meet.

So I am going to challenge myself to get out of my comfort zone and take risks. Even if I am scared on the inside, this coming year I want to make it a goal to be open to new relationships. I also want to deepen the current ones I have and to continue to nourish them. Who knows what this 2020 has for any of us? I also want to encourage you to know your worth. Know that you are worthy of having great friends and that you are treasured. Be brave this coming year with me. Be brave and take risks. Get to know people. If we continue to live in fear we miss out on one of the biggest blessings and joys God has for us in this life : relationships. Take care and God Bless. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! See you all in 2020! <3

Perfume and incense bring joy to the heart, and the pleasantness of a friend springs from their heartfelt advice.   Proverbs 27:9 NIV

Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm. Proverbs 13:20 NIV

 One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. Proverbs 18:24 NIV

We proclaim to you what we have seen and heard, so that you also may have fellowship with us. And our fellowship is with the Father and with his Son, Jesus Christ. We write this to make our joy complete. 1 John 1:3-4 NIV

Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way, you will fulfill the law of Christ. Galatians 6:2 NIV

Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. 10 If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble. 11 Likewise, two people lying close together can keep each other warm. But how can one be warm alone? Ecclesiastes 4:9-11 NLT

Right Here, Right Now

Two of my girls being twins hehe

2019...wow, what a year…. And I don’t mean that in the most positive way. In fact this year may have been the most challenging yet in my life. But before I talk about that some, I want to share a cute memory that the song I am currently listening to reminds me of. The song “Right Here, Right Now” from the High School Musical 3 movie. This song brings me back to when I was 15 years old interning at my old elementary school every Wednesday (my school CAHS had a special program where every upperclassmen did an internship on Wednesdays until the last month of school) with my good guy friend/ everyone considered us dating even though it wasn’t ever “official”. I had gotten to a place where I was content just being a good friend of his and we would just spend the hours talking to each other about life while we did different tasks for the teachers. The teacher I shadowed was my all time favorite teacher, Sra. Brick. She believed in me when I was too shy to speak up in second grade. She helped build my confidence and she kept going up a grade for a few years so that she could keep me and my best friend, Karla from El Salvador, together in the same class. She went out of her way to make sure I had the tools I needed to succeed. She also knew we needed each other as Karla was new to America and learning a completely new culture. Sra. Brick is a huge reason why I enjoy teaching and want to eventually become a full-time teacher.

So ya, back to that ole’ crush haha. I never admitted it to him and he never admitted it to me, but everyone knew. It was kind of obvious, but is was innocent and sweet. When we were together I just wanted to think about the “right here, right now”. I will never forget him, even though we had a major fight that forever ended our friendship. Even though his family didn’t like me because I wasn’t “white”.He taught me a lot of things too and while he made me upset sometimes, he too helped me learn to have confidence in myself. He wouldn’t let me stay shy and timid in high school. He was determined to pull me out of my shell and he really helped me. Sometimes I wish I could remember to think about the “right here, right now” more often instead of worrying about what tomorrow brings, like I was able to do back when I was a kid. I believe that as I grow in my relationship with Christ, it will become more natural to let go and let God take the reigns. He has gotten me through so so many things, so I know I can rely on him.

This past year I am going to be honest, was tough. As much as I strive to be a strong Christian who never takes her eyes off of Jesus, I definitely felt myself stumble quite a bit. I haven’t been in the Word as much as I should be. I have been spending too much time on things distracting me from my circumstances instead of running right into God’s arms. I have focused way too much on my shortcomings and also lost my zeal for life at times too. It definitely became going through the motions a lot of the time between all of the deaths (THREE, THREE deaths in 2019.. No wait FOUR including my great aunt Doris), days my chronic illnesses were debilitating, finding out some of my immediate family have health conditions we didn’t know about, and the stress. So much so that I even began thinking is this it? Am I ever going to get back on track again? Will I forever be a train wreck who just falls further and further behind. Will Jesus finally say he has had enough and leave me to my own devices? As tempting as it has been to just hide away from everyone, I still feel God pulling me to Him. I still hear his whispers that He is with me wherever I go and that He loves me. I have a husband who works tirelessly to make sure I remember my worth, along with the best friends I could ask for. It sounds cheesy but it’s true. Without the special people God has perfectly placed in my life, I don’t know if I could keep on. It is so true that he provides who and what we need. My only hope is that I can be half as great of a spouse and friend that they have been to me. I mean last Saturday I spent the day with three friends who I hadn’t seen in a long time. It had been two years since I had gotten the chance to see Brittany, a little over a year since I got to see Melinda, and yeah two years since I saw Caitlin. I barely texted Melinda over the past year and I don’t think I texted Caitlin at all. I talked to Brittany a bit more, but not much more. I usually strive to check on my friends way more than I did this past year and yet, they didn’t mind. When I saw them, it was like old times. They gave me thoughtful gifts and made sure I felt loved. What did I do to deserve them? I definitely want to make sure I am a better friend this coming year. I thought they would eventually forget about me because I wasn’t staying in touch as much as I should be. But they have always stuck with me thick and thin. All of my best friends have. Kristin, Sarah, Brandy, Katie, Destiny, Vicki, Angela, and all others. I am beyond blessed.

In 2020 I definitely want to get back on track with spending quality time with Jesus and spending more time reaching out to my precious friends. I also want to fall in love with myself again. This year I have hated myself a lot. Hated how much I keep making mistakes. How much I am sick with migraines and seizures. Hated how I can’t drive and how I sometimes have to rely on others, when I would like to be the one helping. If my husband and friends can see good in me, and they stick around, then I must have some redeeming qualities. I can’t think of any good personal attributes, but I am thankful to have people who believe in me. Maybe in 2020 I can find out more about what makes me “special”. I do know in 2019 I finally came to terms with a part of me that is hard to share, but it makes me “me”. I really believe this self realization helps me make sense of my world and helps me relate to others who have it too. I don’t feel comfortable talking about it much as it is quite personal, and while I am an open book, some things are best kept to a few people. But if I ever do feel called to share, I will. I have struggled with the possibility for years and years and I finally am at peace just knowing. It doesn’t change me, I am still me. In 2020 I also hope to have some more adventures with Robbie, my dogs, and my friends. Some traveling with the hubby and dogs, and maybe a ladies trip too?!? I believe 2020 will be a better year, I just need to ride out the storm and let Jesus hold me. I all too often try to fix everything myself (yes I am stubborn but I get it from my dad ;) ), so starting today I am handing it over to Jesus.

2019 Wasn’t completely a bust either, so I want to reflect on the good blessings I experienced this year. I was blessed with an online teaching opportunity which has been amazing. I adore the children I get to teach and I believe this experience was a gift given to me by God to show that teaching is the career direction I am supposed to take. I am excited to see where it continues to go! Also in 2019 I got to see my besties Kristin and Kyle in North Carolina. Over the summer Robbie and I spent our three year wedding anniversary in the Smoky Mountains in Tennessee, and it was my first time there. We took all four dogs and it was so much fun! We stayed in a beautiful log cabin and had our own private hot tub. I love to explore so I can’t wait to travel more. God kept my dog safe when he was loose for two weeks after he escaped my friend’s house. God also gave my hubby a raise and from the sounds of things my other job may be giving me a raise too. I had my favorite actress retweet me a few times on twitter too (Yael Grobglas). My blog post I made a year ago about being a Christian with Chronic illness has touched almost 2,000 people! So I can’t say it was a completely terrible year. It was hard though, but I know it can only get better from here.

So why did I just share all of this? Well I know others have had a hard year too. For some 2019 was their year and I am overjoyed for them. But for others like me, it involved loss, hurt, death, sadness, sorrow, sliding, etc. I want you to know you aren’t alone and to not be afraid to turn to your friends because if you’ve got true ones, they will help you through. Also please ask God to help you through. And don’t stress if you aren’t keeping up as much as you should be. Rather let God and those he was placed into your life hold you. Those special people will be who keep you from falling too far. If you don’t have many friends, go ahead and ask Jesus to bring some into your life. About eh, 7 years ago or so I was sad because I didn’t have many friends after removing some toxic ones. But, he answered my prayers and my heart is full. If there is someone you’d like to get to know better, don’t be afraid to get to know them. Just be sure to guard your heart and understand not everyone is going to like you. Not everyone is worthy of being called a close friend. And that’s okay. Last year I met a woman who I had to have in my life. I would have done anything for her to be my best friend because she seemed perfect. She had her life together, was confident, and beautiful. There was just something about her that I will never forget. But despite how I tried to become friends, it was clear she didn’t have the same desire. Don’t be me. If someone is meant to be your friend they will put in an effort without having to be chased. God will give you who you need and they will need you too. It’ll be a beautiful balance. Just look at my good friends? I am just me and they love me. I still don’t know what they see in me, but they love me and I love them too. Each of them are wonderful. Let God pick those who are special in your life and you won’t be disappointed. Also take time to remember what blessings you do have.

P.s. whenever I struggle I remember my favorite song from middle school called “What if” by Jadon Lavik. Here is a link to it. It is a beautiful song about God’s unfailing love <3


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sx32YIm6v5c




The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18 NIV



A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity. Proverbs 17:17 NIV




Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work; If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up! Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 NIV




The righteous choose their friends carefully, but the way of the wicked leads them astray. Proverbs 12:26 NIV


How good and pleasant it is when God’s people live together in unity! Psalm 133:1 NIV