I am beyond blessed for the good friends in my life. I have some good friends that are both Christian and non-Christian. While I love all my friends, there is just something about having friends that share the same beliefs as you. Friends that edify you, build you up, and point you toward bettering your life, becoming more like Christ himself. At different times, I have had friends of all walks of life that have taught me a lot. For a good while, my closest friends weren’t Godly. While I care for each of these people, the outcome wasn’t good for my faith. Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying to only have Godly friends and to isolate yourself from non-believers; that would be hiding the light from a world that needs to see Jesus. However, there is a reason that we are to be cautious in who we spend most of our time with. Plus, when we ignore our need for fellowship with other believers, we sell ourselves short. I will share some of my experiences on this journey called friendship in hope that you can see how Christ has grown me, and how Godly friendships will benefit you and your walk with God.
For the longest my main best friend was someone I grew up with. She and I both shared a unique trait and we both had a lot in common. We both loved to talk a lot, we loved movies, playing race car video games, and we didn’t want to get into trouble some of our other peers liked getting into (messing with bad boys, drugs, etc). We could just talk about life and have a good time together. The only thing missing in our friendship was that she didn’t care to know Jesus. She had an interest in hearing about my faith a few times, but then decided she didn’t want to talk about it anymore. I respected that (and I still do), but I always had longed for someone that I could talk about Jesus with because I loved Jesus so much. We still hangout to this day, but it is a little harder because of that disconnect and because of another element: her sister. Her sister has always talked down to me and likes to belittle every decision I make. To this day, she makes it clear that I am wasting my time getting my Master’s, that I spend too much on rent, that I shouldn’t own cats, that I am stupid, that I am a weirdo, etc. I have tolerated the criticisms because I didn’t want to sever the friendship with someone I have been friends with for so long, but there are times that I feel that it is too emotionally draining.
A few other friendships had to be ended, because the people I knew kept pushing me into sin. One friendship in particular was with someone who was also a believer. She and I would talk about Jesus, and I would ask how her walk with the Lord was frequently. However, she fell into a lifestyle of debauchery. I cared a lot for her, and wanted to be there for her. I would pray for her, I would listen to her and help her whenever she needed it. But, I also was drug under as well. Why I never became addicted to drinking, she would frequently force me into situations I wasn’t comfortable with. When I explained that I didn’t feel comfortable going to the bar at 1 am as a Christ follower, she would say I worry too much and I need to live a little. So a few times I gave in and tagged along with her so that she that she wouldn’t get upset with me. Eventually, I couldn’t take it anymore. Since she wouldn’t respect my convictions, I had to allow our friendship to develop some distance.
One friendship even turned dangerous. I’d rather not go into extreme details, but when a friend assists your ex in stalking you...you know that isn’t a true friend. A friend who smiles to your face and you find out is bad mouthing you to everyone, wishing bad on you is an enemy. As you can see from some of my experiences, friendships with the wrong people can go bad. There is a reason the Bible has a lot to say about friendships, and even our enemies. God cares about the lost, and He ALSO cares about YOU! He knows what is safe and what isn’t, so we can trust that what God says is true. So while you may say, my non-Christian friends aren’t as bad as the ones you described, the Bible’s instruction remains the same. The reason is we ought to surround ourselves with people who will make us more like Christ, not pull us the other way. The devil likes to be subtle, so you aren’t always aware when he may be at work. Here’s some things the Bible has to say about friendships and ones that turn sour:
- Proverbs 13:20 NIV “ He who walks with wise men will be wise, But the companion of fools will suffer harm.”
- Proverbs 12:26 NIV “The righteous choose their friends carefully, but the way of the wicked leads them astray.”
- 1 Thessalonians 5:11 NIV “Therefore encourage one another and build each other up as you are already doing.”
- Psalm 1:1 NIN “How blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked, Nor stand in the path of sinners, Nor sit in the seat of scoffers!”
- Proverbs 27:17 NLT “As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.”
- Ecclesiastes 4:9–12 NLT “Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble. Likewise, two people lying close together can keep each other warm. But how can one be warm alone? A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.”
- Matthew 5:44 NIV “But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.”
Now I would like to share with you some of the Godly friendships I have that have been such a blessing in my life. My Godly girls are ladies that I can talk to about anything, and I know that I can trust them to not gossip about me behind my back. We enjoy spending time together and we talk about Jesus every time we hang out. They give good Godly counsel when needed, and I do the same for them. They encourage me, telling me things such as I am a strong Godly woman when I feel defeated. They remind me that they love me, that I have worth. They push me to be the best I can be. They give me honest rebuke when needed, but they do so in love. They pray for my husband and I regularly. Whenever I hangout with any of them, or even talk to them on the phone, I feel refreshed. I feel exhorted and comforted. I feel ready to take on the world. I always look forward to our next time together. Sometimes I tear up because of the gracious love they show me. My husband is another person who is such a great friend to me, my best friend in the world. He forgives me every time I make a mistake and he doesn’t hold it against me. He doesn’t yell at me or control me. He patiently loves me and helps me on days when my anxiety is through the roof and I have numerous panic attacks. He listens happily as I gush on and on about my dog obsession. He admires each of my quirks. My friends make me feel safe, they love me even though I have some challenges that make me unique. They don’t see me as less than. Some of them even say they look up to me. They see things in me that I don’t see in myself. Good things. They describe me as adventurous, sweet, loving, Godly, smart, and that they see Jesus in me...It never ceases to amaze me how much they care for me, even when I can’t love myself at times.
We have had so many fun adventures together. Some of my Godly besties I have known since the beginning of college, and some of them I have met later on in college. A few I have met after or before college. I even have a few older than me. God led me to a lovely woman who is a Godly inspiration and a great mother to her kids. Who knew we have so much in common and that we both had similar experiences with narcissistic abuse. We are good friends and we can talk on the phone for hours. One of my favorite memories in college was having late movie nights with Papa John's pizza and talking about girl stuff. Another favorite memory was having game nights with my girls, going to the pool together, and going out to dinner together. We always have the best conversations about life. Oh and of course, I have had numerous amazing adventures and memories with my husband. Too many to list in this blog post….but I think you see my point now. Godly friendships are so amazing and I couldn’t imagine my life without any of my good Godly friends. They make my life so much better. I hope you have some too, and if not pray that God bring some into your life. I prayed for many of my friends and here I am today with friendships that will last a lifetime. God is a good God! Thank you my good friends for being fantastic and thank you Abba father for blessing me so abundantly <3!
