A lot of chaos has been going on in my life recently (well actually most of 2022). I could choose to dwell on the negative trials and tribulations that come with living in a sinful world, but I won’t because that would discount all of the good God has been doing in my life. As a believer I know that God is bigger than anything I or anyone else could face in this world, and that he is our hope. I know that he is working out everything for our good according to his promise in Jeremiah 29. I almost lost sight of my purpose and God’s goodness recently when the devil used a cruel person to attack me, but I am so grateful that God didn’t let that happen. When I began to question my worth and purpose on this earth, when I began to believe the lies told that my worth is tied to what career I have in this world, God caught me. When I began to spiral into a depressive episode, with awful self thoughts, he sent people my way to intercede and pray. When I started to feel desperate for ways to make more money because of a temporary situation, God reminded me that he will provide. And I know he will because he already has come through every single time I needed him this year from financially to emotionally as I helped my husband as he struggled with his own depression. Not only did he help me in my times of need, he blessed me with a lot of new friendships both in person and online, as well as countless small joys each day.
My day was going okay this past Monday, aside from having to stay home because of a migraine, until I received a phone call from my private student loan lender. I was currently trying to work out a revised payment plan for two months because of my husband having unexpected surgery that required two weeks of bed rest, as well as me finally getting back to full time work after a few sessions of migraine Botox shots. When we spoke, I assumed he would be understanding and compassionate, but I couldn’t have been more wrong. He was upset at the amount of money I make per hour for someone with a Master’s degree, and couldn’t fathom why I wasn’t putting in applications daily for a new job. When I explained how my job lets me take care of my sister, and allows me flexibility to work around my migraines and seizures, he said that I wasn’t trying hard enough. Fine I figured, he is entitled to his opinion and hasn’t walked a day in my shoes, so he would never understand. I was handling the phone call with a grain of salt until he told me that my college career and student loans was a waste of time because I was making a below average salary…mind you I make over $20 an hour which is good in a post covid era. He ended the call by assuring me that he would do all he could to help, but that I should consider what he said. As soon as I hung up I began bawling because it hurt so much to hear that I wasted my life and money. I have always believed college was a huge blessing because of what I learned, the opportunities I will always have, the friends I made, and most importantly, it is where I found my soulmate. I have always had huge aspirations of having a dream career, but developing chronic illness put that on hold for a while. In the meantime I have began writing my first book and looking into starting my own small business, but that guy had no idea because he just looked at the dollar amount I make. He didn’t care that I take care of my loved one with Autism, or that I am bed bound a lot of days. All that mattered was that I have a successful career, even if it meant working two full time jobs (his other suggestion).
I tried my hardest to believe Robbie, my husband, when he told me that guy was out of line, and that God had a plan, but I was shattered. I called my best friend K to vent and to hear what she had to say, and because K always looks out for me. K of course was very understanding, loving, and angry that someone hurt me so badly. She also gave me some good advice and helped stop the panic attack I was having. I am so thankful for both her and Robbie, as well as my other close friends. Later someone got shot in our condo complex, which is usually very safe. It was apparent that the enemy was at work because the devil comes to kill, steal, and destroy. Thankfully the person shot is okay, but the devil wanted him gone. The devil wanted to steal my joy and destroy the good plans God has for my future. But it didn’t work. God is bigger.
The next day when I was at work God spoke his truth to me. He told me that I belong to him and that I am one of his. He reminded me that no one can snatch me of our his hands, and that he has a bigger purpose for me than what the world calls “purpose”. How did I know that was God speaking? Because it was a strong yet gentle voice, and because God only ever tells us things that align with his Word; The Bible. What he told me can be found in John 10:28-29, and I haven’t read the book of John in a long time, so it wasn’t muscle memory that brought those words up. It was God! After hearing those words and thanking him, I felt a special peace that instantly calmed my soul and I began to remember who I am. I began to believe the people who messaged me the night before saying that they were praying over me and that I am more than a paycheck. I began to believe my friend that told me my story is just beginning and that she believes God will both use me and allow my degrees to be used. But most importantly, I began to remember that God is my provider and that he has something bigger for me than anything the world could offer. I began to get excited about my book I am writing to encourage others with chronic illnesses, and I continued planning for my small business. I also began to rest in his truth, and looked back on all the good he had done for me this past year alone.
I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one will snatch them out of my hand. My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all; no one can snatch them out of my Father’s hand. 3 John 10:28-29
I recently got to talk with an actress I like named Annika Noelle. We talked about our dogs and cats, and it was really cool. I also follow her on Instagram, and saw that she was doing a daily gratitude post, which inspired me to blog about what I am thankful for. I am so thankful for having owned a lovely condo for over four years now. I am thankful for the wonderful friends I have made in the community, either at the pool or when walking my dogs. A few have become good friends of mine, which I know didn’t happen by “chance”. I am thankful for my beautiful dog "children" and a loving, supportive husband. I am thankful for my wonderful family and friends. I am thankful that I was able to take up gardening this year, which led to a beautiful little oasis in my backyard. I am thankful for all the beautiful warm and hot days, as well as the beautiful fall foliage and leaves. I am thankful for the pool I get to share with my fellow condo community, where I shared many fun laughs and chats this past summer. I am thankful that I have made great friends online, such as my bestie Angela, whom I met five years ago in a Christian blogging group, and my friends that I have made all because of a silly soap opera. I am thankful that when we hit a lot of financial hiccups this year, God made a way through. I am thankful that my husband has found a compassionate therapist that he loves. I am thankful God protected my dogs and I from a vicious loose dog two weeks ago. A woman and her husband saw us walking before we reached the dog and led us to their garage to drive us safely home. I now have another friend whom I plan to hangout with soon. I am thankful for God’s safety he provides over my loved ones and I. I am thankful that I got back every overdraft fee I had received this year, which was an asinine amount. I am thankful that God has gifted me with a love for people, and with the talent of writing. Contrary to what that man said, I am very thankful for both my college degrees. And last but most importantly, I am thankful that God is not done with me yet and that he will use me to further his kingdom. He wants me (and you) to seek first his kingdom, and the rest will be added to us. He will provide for us and give us the desires of our hearts. He will provide lasting friendships, love, precious gifts like children and/ or animals, jobs, satisfaction and fulfillment, and every other need we have.
But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Matthew 6:33
When I look at all God has done for me just this year alone, it really puts things into perspective. My life is not my own, and if I seek him in everything, he will guide my path. The same is true for anyone who calls upon the name of Jesus. God desires that each and everyone of us be saved. If you haven’t already, all you have to do is ask Jesus to forgive you for your sins and unbelief, and ask him to be your Lord and Savior. Once you pray AND believe in your heart that Jesus is your Lord, he will take care of the rest. Trust me when there is nothing like God’s way. I hope you all have a wonderful thanksgiving. Be sure to spend some time thinking about all the blessings you have, and don’t forget to give God thanks and all the glory. Love you all <3
My day was going okay this past Monday, aside from having to stay home because of a migraine, until I received a phone call from my private student loan lender. I was currently trying to work out a revised payment plan for two months because of my husband having unexpected surgery that required two weeks of bed rest, as well as me finally getting back to full time work after a few sessions of migraine Botox shots. When we spoke, I assumed he would be understanding and compassionate, but I couldn’t have been more wrong. He was upset at the amount of money I make per hour for someone with a Master’s degree, and couldn’t fathom why I wasn’t putting in applications daily for a new job. When I explained how my job lets me take care of my sister, and allows me flexibility to work around my migraines and seizures, he said that I wasn’t trying hard enough. Fine I figured, he is entitled to his opinion and hasn’t walked a day in my shoes, so he would never understand. I was handling the phone call with a grain of salt until he told me that my college career and student loans was a waste of time because I was making a below average salary…mind you I make over $20 an hour which is good in a post covid era. He ended the call by assuring me that he would do all he could to help, but that I should consider what he said. As soon as I hung up I began bawling because it hurt so much to hear that I wasted my life and money. I have always believed college was a huge blessing because of what I learned, the opportunities I will always have, the friends I made, and most importantly, it is where I found my soulmate. I have always had huge aspirations of having a dream career, but developing chronic illness put that on hold for a while. In the meantime I have began writing my first book and looking into starting my own small business, but that guy had no idea because he just looked at the dollar amount I make. He didn’t care that I take care of my loved one with Autism, or that I am bed bound a lot of days. All that mattered was that I have a successful career, even if it meant working two full time jobs (his other suggestion).
I tried my hardest to believe Robbie, my husband, when he told me that guy was out of line, and that God had a plan, but I was shattered. I called my best friend K to vent and to hear what she had to say, and because K always looks out for me. K of course was very understanding, loving, and angry that someone hurt me so badly. She also gave me some good advice and helped stop the panic attack I was having. I am so thankful for both her and Robbie, as well as my other close friends. Later someone got shot in our condo complex, which is usually very safe. It was apparent that the enemy was at work because the devil comes to kill, steal, and destroy. Thankfully the person shot is okay, but the devil wanted him gone. The devil wanted to steal my joy and destroy the good plans God has for my future. But it didn’t work. God is bigger.
The next day when I was at work God spoke his truth to me. He told me that I belong to him and that I am one of his. He reminded me that no one can snatch me of our his hands, and that he has a bigger purpose for me than what the world calls “purpose”. How did I know that was God speaking? Because it was a strong yet gentle voice, and because God only ever tells us things that align with his Word; The Bible. What he told me can be found in John 10:28-29, and I haven’t read the book of John in a long time, so it wasn’t muscle memory that brought those words up. It was God! After hearing those words and thanking him, I felt a special peace that instantly calmed my soul and I began to remember who I am. I began to believe the people who messaged me the night before saying that they were praying over me and that I am more than a paycheck. I began to believe my friend that told me my story is just beginning and that she believes God will both use me and allow my degrees to be used. But most importantly, I began to remember that God is my provider and that he has something bigger for me than anything the world could offer. I began to get excited about my book I am writing to encourage others with chronic illnesses, and I continued planning for my small business. I also began to rest in his truth, and looked back on all the good he had done for me this past year alone.
I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one will snatch them out of my hand. My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all; no one can snatch them out of my Father’s hand. 3 John 10:28-29
I recently got to talk with an actress I like named Annika Noelle. We talked about our dogs and cats, and it was really cool. I also follow her on Instagram, and saw that she was doing a daily gratitude post, which inspired me to blog about what I am thankful for. I am so thankful for having owned a lovely condo for over four years now. I am thankful for the wonderful friends I have made in the community, either at the pool or when walking my dogs. A few have become good friends of mine, which I know didn’t happen by “chance”. I am thankful for my beautiful dog "children" and a loving, supportive husband. I am thankful for my wonderful family and friends. I am thankful that I was able to take up gardening this year, which led to a beautiful little oasis in my backyard. I am thankful for all the beautiful warm and hot days, as well as the beautiful fall foliage and leaves. I am thankful for the pool I get to share with my fellow condo community, where I shared many fun laughs and chats this past summer. I am thankful that I have made great friends online, such as my bestie Angela, whom I met five years ago in a Christian blogging group, and my friends that I have made all because of a silly soap opera. I am thankful that when we hit a lot of financial hiccups this year, God made a way through. I am thankful that my husband has found a compassionate therapist that he loves. I am thankful God protected my dogs and I from a vicious loose dog two weeks ago. A woman and her husband saw us walking before we reached the dog and led us to their garage to drive us safely home. I now have another friend whom I plan to hangout with soon. I am thankful for God’s safety he provides over my loved ones and I. I am thankful that I got back every overdraft fee I had received this year, which was an asinine amount. I am thankful that God has gifted me with a love for people, and with the talent of writing. Contrary to what that man said, I am very thankful for both my college degrees. And last but most importantly, I am thankful that God is not done with me yet and that he will use me to further his kingdom. He wants me (and you) to seek first his kingdom, and the rest will be added to us. He will provide for us and give us the desires of our hearts. He will provide lasting friendships, love, precious gifts like children and/ or animals, jobs, satisfaction and fulfillment, and every other need we have.
But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Matthew 6:33
When I look at all God has done for me just this year alone, it really puts things into perspective. My life is not my own, and if I seek him in everything, he will guide my path. The same is true for anyone who calls upon the name of Jesus. God desires that each and everyone of us be saved. If you haven’t already, all you have to do is ask Jesus to forgive you for your sins and unbelief, and ask him to be your Lord and Savior. Once you pray AND believe in your heart that Jesus is your Lord, he will take care of the rest. Trust me when there is nothing like God’s way. I hope you all have a wonderful thanksgiving. Be sure to spend some time thinking about all the blessings you have, and don’t forget to give God thanks and all the glory. Love you all <3
