Hello everyone, I hope you all are having a wonderful Christmas time. It has been longer than usual since my last blog, and I am sorry for that. A lot has been going on since then, which I will fill you in on in a second. Plus, I have been struggling a little with being faithful to God, but I have learned just how patient and loving he is during this time. So this blog will talk about that and also how God blesses us in the big and small things. I also have an exciting goal for 2022 and Lord willing, it will be a great accomplishment and a way to bless others. I am going to be working on a devotional that is based around the chronic illness experiences that myself and many others go through. My hope is that my devotional will be able to let people know that they are not alone when they have periods of suffering, confusion, and uncertainty. I also want them to be able to find joy despite it, like I have been able to. Since I haven’t been able to use my Master’s degree in Org Communication like I wanted to, with covid and finding out I am immunocompromised, I have decided to put a traditional office job on hold. In the meantime, I will pursue my dream of becoming an author and will put both of my college degrees and talents there. I would love to have your love, encouragement, and support throughout my journey.
After getting Shingles at the end of April, and then seeing a rheumatologist in July because of a positive ANA result, we discovered that I have RNP protein in my blood, which does not exist in people with healthy immune systems. I was happy to finally have an answer to why I was having so much joint pain and swelling, as well as nerve pain. The nerve pain has been accredited to Fibromyalgia, and my rheumatologist believed that Sjogrens is the rheumatic condition that I have because I also have extremely dry mouth, dry eyes, dry throat, dry skin and no diabetes (thank God because a few years ago I was prediabetic, but that is no longer the case!) We began treatment in August on hydroxychloroquine and just like he said my symptoms would slowly get better over several months because it is a slow acting medication. It was really hard to even walk more than a few steps at a time this past summer. I remember being on my anniversary trip with my husband and the dogs and having to take breaks, not because of being out of shape or out of breath, but because my hip joints and lower back would hurt so bad and my back would spasm. I was sad that I may not be able to enjoy any of the activities I used to because even my favorite outdoor summer pastime, swimming, was hard to do. However, I knew God is sovereign and had a purpose, and I knew that getting answers meant one step closer to getting to a better place, so I patiently waited for results. Two months passed and not much improvement; however this past end of October I began being able to take 45 minute walks with the dogs without having to use essential oils, lidocaine creams, and everything else to be able to function. And a month later I decided to get into one of my favorite music albums and attempted to dance, and I was able to dance until I was out of breath and not from pain. It was a miracle! I hadn’t been able to twirl, leap, spin, shake my hips, or any of that for over a year. I was so overjoyed my eyes filled with tears and I had to scream it off the mountain tops to everyone I knew. God is faithful and I was able to do something I enjoyed again.
It is very much a touch and go thing still. Some days I have normal range of motion and good energy, while some days I am in so much pain I can barely move. But I am having more good days than bad. Currently my migraines are worse, which is an ongoing battle but I am trusting the most High God for guidance and help with those too. I have a new rheumatologist because my current one is moving to another state, but I really like my new one. She has ordered some specialty tests to see if it is possible I have Lupus. It is scary to think I might have that, but I am going to continue putting my faith in God, not matter what. He never stops loving us, no matter what we do, and when we are his children he works everyone out for our good. I have not been the best Christ follower recently and I will openly admit that because too many people think that Christianity is about being a perfect follower of Christ, or that it means we sin no more. Rather, Christianity is about accepting Jesus’ gift of salvation and acknowledging he is the son of God and that we are broken and need forgiveness. We then look to Jesus to guide us and live through us. We can’t be “good” on our own. And we often times stray despite having everything we could ever need in Christ because we still have our fleshly sinful desires.
I haven’t been reading the Word of God much and not spending much time with him daily, and I ashamed to say that but I also want to be authentic. I have gotten distracted with other things and have put things above Him. But when I do that, I always feel an emptiness because nothing can fulfill us like Jesus can. I was afraid he was going to punish me for not being obedient like I should be, but instead Jesus has been patient and sent love my way. He has gently guided me back to him by lightly putting it on my heart to pray and to spend time with him. He has shown me that he still loves me just as much as he did when I was created, and that he is always eagerly awaiting for me to look to him. This is the same for unbelievers. Jesus patiently and gently waits for them to realize he is real and that they need him as their savior. Jesus isn’t angrily looking at us for every wrong move we make. He mourns when people choose to not accept him and he mourns when believers put other things before him. But he will always lead us back to him because nothing can ever take us out from his hand once we accept Jesus. We are promised eternal life in Heaven and the Holy Spirit in our hearts the moment we accept Christ. And then we are called to share God’s truth and love with the world so that people are saved from hell. God doesn’t just want us to accept him and then forget. He wants to bless us and give us fulfilling lives too, while we faithfully rely on him for all of our needs.
My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all; no one can snatch them out of my Father’s hand.I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one will snatch them out of my hand.I and the Father are one.” John 10:28-30 NIV
Can anything ever separate us from Christ’s love? Does it mean he no longer loves us if we have trouble or calamity, or are persecuted, or hungry, or destitute, or in danger, or threatened with death? (As the Scriptures say, “For your sake we are killed every day; we are being slaughtered like sheep.”) No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us.
And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:35-39 NIV
A relationship with Christ is a journey and we will never be perfect until we reach Heaven one day. We sometimes are fully relying on him, and sometimes we choose sin. But no matter what our eternity is secured and that is the biggest gift and hope on this entire earth. I really want everyone reading this to accept Jesus as their Lord and savior so that we can be in Heaven together and so that you can have the best life that Jesus has for you. I believe that everything that happens to us is not by chance, but by God’s perfect design. And I have some more amazing things to share with you that show how God has each aspect of our lives perfectly planned according to his will! Some of my biggest blessings have come in the most unexpected places and forms. For instance, some of them live in my home, while some of them live across the world! And without God I wouldn’t have them. 2021 has been a little hard, but I want to share with you the blessings God has given me this year to show his love.
For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast. Ephesians 2:8-9 NIV
My husband is one of the biggest blessings God has ever given me. He is patient, funny, and kind, and he is my biggest supporter when it comes to my health. He understands how some days I can’t work, and he takes me to each appointment since I cannot drive due to epilepsy. He has stayed by my side even though when I met him I was perfectly healthy. He believes in our vows, in sickness and in health, and I am forever grateful for that. My dogs each are blessings that God strategically placed in my life. Mikki has been my service dog and my dream/ heart dog. She literally knows me so well and has saved my life before when I had a sleep seizure and my breathing stopped. She is always eager to please and she can alert to migraines, low blood sugar (a migraine trigger), and she assists with panic attacks. She is a sweet dog that is very nurturing to her dog siblings as well. Her favorite place to be is in my arms. She keeps her eye on me to make sure I am okay and safe, much like God does. She watches over me, just like God watches over all of us. Coco was added to our family August 2020, and has struggled with dog anxiety and pica, until recently getting her special medication for it. Now she can enjoy life more and she too has as special place in my heart, just like all my dogs do. Coco likes to remind me to relax and she gives hugs, like literal human hugs where she wraps her arms around my torso and back. I am thankful I have her to cuddle with and watch TV with. Mae Mae is also a cuddle bug and she too can naturally alert when a migraine is about to happen. She keeps to herself more than the others, but she can sense the slightest change in my mood and will do anything to make me smile. Petra is my wildchild and forever a puppy. She reminds me that God wants us to have fun in this life too and to take time to just be silly. She also is very protective of me on walks, making sure to bark if anyone suddenly appears or approaches. She warns me of possible danger just like the Holy Spirit does.
I have longed for some more friends after 2020 because I found out some people weren’t who I thought they were. Don’t get me wrong, I still have a few besties, and they know who they are if they are reading this. But I wanted more friends and thought it would be cool to meet some people from different backgrounds and walks of life. Well, God provided that in the most surprising way; twitter. Twitter has been a double edged sword for me because I have also had a stalker on there and some bullies, but I wouldn’t change becoming active on twitter for anything in the world because of what I have been blessed with. Much like I met someone who is like a sister to me on a Christian blogging group four years ago, I have met a few ladies who are now some of my besties. We originally just talked about a soap opera, Bold and Beautiful and our favorite characters. But as time went on, we began to get to know each other and we have a ton in common. We are all going to plan to meet up sometime too. We have enjoyed endless nights of phone calls, texting, etc. One of them is multiracial like me and from Africa. Another one only lives a state away. And one lives all the way in Sweden! I am not sure how I am going to get Sweden or get her here, but we will find a way one of these days. Mimi is the newest close friend to me. We both are very loyal, bubbly gals who enjoy each others company. Seriously, she is very sweet, just like my other girls Alex and Tesha. I may have finally found the best friend I have been looking for, but perhaps in the form of three more besties haha. I know a year ago I was dying to have a #1 best friend because it seems all of my closest friends have one friend that is their favorite. Well maybe I am not meant to have one closest friend, but several. Or perhaps my#1 bestie and vice versa is one of these ladies. They have helped me through an insane 2021 and I have done my best to make them smile and laugh each day. Now I don’t know what I would do without them. I am so thankful God has blessed me with these wonderful women and I look forward to creating many memories with them in 2022. And for my OG besties, I look forward to many hangouts and for covid’s butt to be kicked.
Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. James 1:17 NIV
I hope that I am always able to encourage you all and that you see God’s love in me. If you aren’t already saved, I hope and pray you will ask Jesus into your heart soon. It is very simple to do and once you do you are forever in God’s family. God bless you all and may you have a blessed, safe Christmas, Hanukkah, and New Year.
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ReplyDelete