I hope you enjoy the most recent blog I posted about self love. I hope that you're doing whatever you can to love yourself during these crazy times we are living in, along with loving Jesus. I just wanted to say I am taking a break from Facebook and from writing blogs for a while. I need to further evaluate where I am in my walk with the Lord and I want to be sure I am in the right place before I write any more encouraging blogs for you because when I write them, I want them to point you to Christ. My trip away with my husband was a great break but honestly when I came back and got back to the news and Facebook I realized I am really a mess right now, if I'm being honest. I am not at a place I want to be. I'm not spending enough time with God daily and I am struggling with all of the stuff going on around me. I know I have anxiety and it was mostly controlled with medicine and I have mild depression but lately that depression doesn't seem so mild. Makes me sad to know what my husband struggles with all the time as someone with severe depression :(.
I am trying to show kindness and love, but it seems all I do is make things worse. For example, I just replied to a family members post today on advice about a covid vaccine and instead of telling me she was offended by my response, she blocked me. It's just too much trying to keep up with everything right now and there's too much noise I'm missing what I need to hear from God. So I want to spend time with him so that I can recharge and better love everyone, especially those closest to me. I feel I've been way too clingy to those closest to me and that's not usually me, so my sincerest apologies as well if I've driven any of you crazy. I'm working on me because I want to be able to be a better wife, friend, and most importantly daughter of Christ. So eventually, I'll be back to writing blogs. But for now I've got some me problems I need to work on. Take care and God bless each of you ❤️. P.s. besties you've seen me at rock bottom recently and I hope you stick around, but if I'm too much of a trainwreck for you I understand. I am definitely not easy to love. I don't blame you if you decide to find a better friend someone who's got their life better together. Either way, I'll always love you and you'll always be in my heart. Wishing you all blessings.
P.s. if you really want to know exactly what's going on and you're brave enough to read about it, this Christian article sums it up so well.
https://relevantmagazine.com/god/loving-jesus-doesnt-automatically-cure-suicidal-thoughts/amp/
I have a
hard time talking about it because I was told before I wasn't a good enough Christian once for just having anxiety at a Church Bible study back when I lived in Athens. If wasn't through cru but an actual Church. So if anxiety is so heavily stigmatized, how much more so is depression. It comes and goes and right now I feel like I'm walking a tight rope between staying balanced and drowning. Maybe it's time I revisited going to a therapist. Either way if you could pray for me I'd appreciate it. I'll be back hopefully sooner than later.
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