Most would say I am pretty level headed when it comes to the decisions I make. One of my friends from college described me as an intuitive extrovert, which she said she had never encountered before, because I always gave much thought before answering questions during our leadership bible study. I enjoy exploring the world around me and connecting with others, and I feel much happier after I have been around people, but at the same time I am always in my mind. I like to consider all of my options, the consequences of them, what is best for everyone involved, in what ways can I continue learning, how can I glorify God, etc. However, I am not perfect. Addiction and some other habits run in my family, and while I wish could say I were completely immune, I have fallen for the temptation of instant gratification before. I don’t have any specific addictions like other family members have, praise God. I am thankful for that because I am seen first hand how damaging it has been to their livelihood, our entire family, and their own overall life; and it makes me sad for them. But I understand where it stems from. A need to having something right now. And you feel like you need it NOW. And nothing will satisfy you until you get that thing. And you feel like you will go INSANE if you DON’T get that thing. So you become obsessed with obtaining it. Like I said, I don’t have a specific addiction like gambling away all of my money, drinking, sex, porn or anything like that. But I have felt and am both embarrassed and at the same time humbled to say that I have felt desperate to have something to the point that I would do nearly anything to do it. And the things I wanted weren’t bad things either. It’s just, when you want something so badly you aren’t thinking straight… you see where I’m going… you often don’t seek God and you certainly miss out on his timing. And there are most DEFINITELY consequences for that. I am speaking from EXPERIENCE, unfortunately. But the rainbow at the end of the tunnel is through each mistake I made God helped pick me up and lead me to his perfect plan. Hang tight, I’ll share more.
There are quite a few scenarios where I rushed things because I needed to have it like yesterday. The first I can think of would be when I was in high school and even into college. I felt because all of my friends had boyfriends, I needed to also have a boyfriend. So what did I do? Well the first guy I had a crush on I got to know but we didn’t end up dating. That was fine but instead of giving myself a break and just enjoying being a young teen I kept trying to find another crush. So my sophomore year of high school I had a few crushes and I would fall hard for each of them, and then get my heart crushed when none of them liked me. Then I felt worthless and annoying/ bummed. Eventually because a few people assumed I was dating my female best friend my junior year, one of my other friends set me up on a blind date with her friend from her high school. He asked me to be his girlfriend and I said yes. Worst mistake ever because all it was was a boy trying to get me to do stuff I didn’t want to and it led to him sexually assaulting me because I always said no. Not fun, don’t be dumb like I was back then please. My next boyfriend was a more realistic relationship but he still wasn’t the Godly guy I thought he was and he cheated on me halfway through my freshman year of college. Finally after that I took some time to just enjoy being free and growing closer to God. I realized during that time I didn’t need a man to complete me and that it was time for me to put Jesus first in my life. It was very freeing and wonderful! Finally no chasing after boys, what a relief.
My high school best friend Shannon
You make known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand. Psalm 16:11 NIV
The next thing that comes to mind when I think back on not trusting God’s timing actually involves my dogs. No don’t get me wrong Luke was part of his perfect plan.. But before Luke I was talked into indulging my need for a dog right then. My “best friend” **** DIFFERENT one than Shannon**** at the time would take care of her at her house for a few months until summer when I could keep her at my parents place until fall when I got my first apartment which was pet friendly. I was so giddy because I had just signed a lease (fall 2014 for my senior year the next school year) and my “best friend” said she would go with me to help me pick out a puppy to adopt. I had always wanted a dog of my own and my “best friend” had never failed me before, so I had no reason to think she would now. Well the day of the adoption her older sister berated me suddenly for the decision we were making saying I forced my friend into this, when it was my friend whose idea it was all along. I was confused, my friend was two years older than me and an adult/ had her own house?? But okay. Long story short we get the dog and after I give her to my friend she decides to change her name because the name I picked out was stupid. Then a few days later I get a call from a vet saying my dog was in critical condition and dying and needed to be put down. I don’t have words… I don’t understand. I just wish I would have taken the dog back the minute they were wanting to change its name and just gave it back to the shelter..but I never knew things would end up the way they did. Regardless I have forgiven because that is what God calls us to do, not easy but completely possible because we have Christ in us and he did it for us.
Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Romans 12:14 NIV
So after Luke we got Leia a white Pomeranian and she was a sweet dog but not a good fit since she was terrified of Luke. A few months later I had the urge to get another dog and it was overwhelming (little did I know it was actually God giving me the urge but I needed to be patient and He had a reason for the urge too). Instead of praying and looking at shelters what do I do? I find a random dog someone is selling and end up getting scammed out of money. See what happens when you think you know better than God? You end up getting burned badly. Once we did find the right fit and the next right fit after that one, I ended up rushing once again because I wanted another dog from the same breeder I got Mikki from and the breeder wanted me to hurry up and choose between two dogs and put a deposit down or else someone else could get one of them (I get it, first come first serve). So I felt like I had to choose right then and not think things through...and ended up with a disaster. So once again, I lost. Now don’t get discouraged because I am about to share how God’s timing compared to my careless, reckless timing and how perfect things turned out when I waited and prayed. Be prepared to be amazed.
The plans of the diligent lead surely to advantage, But everyone who is hasty comes surely to poverty. Proverbs 21:5 NIV
You make known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand. Psalm 16:11 NIV
The next thing that comes to mind when I think back on not trusting God’s timing actually involves my dogs. No don’t get me wrong Luke was part of his perfect plan.. But before Luke I was talked into indulging my need for a dog right then. My “best friend” **** DIFFERENT one than Shannon**** at the time would take care of her at her house for a few months until summer when I could keep her at my parents place until fall when I got my first apartment which was pet friendly. I was so giddy because I had just signed a lease (fall 2014 for my senior year the next school year) and my “best friend” said she would go with me to help me pick out a puppy to adopt. I had always wanted a dog of my own and my “best friend” had never failed me before, so I had no reason to think she would now. Well the day of the adoption her older sister berated me suddenly for the decision we were making saying I forced my friend into this, when it was my friend whose idea it was all along. I was confused, my friend was two years older than me and an adult/ had her own house?? But okay. Long story short we get the dog and after I give her to my friend she decides to change her name because the name I picked out was stupid. Then a few days later I get a call from a vet saying my dog was in critical condition and dying and needed to be put down. I don’t have words… I don’t understand. I just wish I would have taken the dog back the minute they were wanting to change its name and just gave it back to the shelter..but I never knew things would end up the way they did. Regardless I have forgiven because that is what God calls us to do, not easy but completely possible because we have Christ in us and he did it for us.
Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Romans 12:14 NIV
So after Luke we got Leia a white Pomeranian and she was a sweet dog but not a good fit since she was terrified of Luke. A few months later I had the urge to get another dog and it was overwhelming (little did I know it was actually God giving me the urge but I needed to be patient and He had a reason for the urge too). Instead of praying and looking at shelters what do I do? I find a random dog someone is selling and end up getting scammed out of money. See what happens when you think you know better than God? You end up getting burned badly. Once we did find the right fit and the next right fit after that one, I ended up rushing once again because I wanted another dog from the same breeder I got Mikki from and the breeder wanted me to hurry up and choose between two dogs and put a deposit down or else someone else could get one of them (I get it, first come first serve). So I felt like I had to choose right then and not think things through...and ended up with a disaster. So once again, I lost. Now don’t get discouraged because I am about to share how God’s timing compared to my careless, reckless timing and how perfect things turned out when I waited and prayed. Be prepared to be amazed.
The plans of the diligent lead surely to advantage, But everyone who is hasty comes surely to poverty. Proverbs 21:5 NIV
In college I had one more boyfriend that sadly was the worst relationship of my life, but I didn’t lose hope. Instead I fully surrendered (admit-tingly after being mad at God for a few weeks even though He did nothing wrong) to God and prayed that if it were His will that I would find the right man to marry in his timing and that the next guy I date be the guy I marry. So I didn’t worry at all. I spent time working on school, hanging out with my besties, enjoying the beauty of Athens, and growing closer to Christ, and learning more about myself. October 2014, my junior year of college while working at Alden Library, I met my now husband Robbie, who was also working at the library. Something was different about him from the moment we worked that shift together. I was afraid to talk to any men at first but I felt led by the Holy Spirit to actually be bold and initiate conversation and show interest, so I did. He reciprocated and we began courting. He was and is everything I could ask for in a man. Loving, gentle, sweet, funny, protective, smart...and loves Jesus. But guess what? He didn’t have a personal relationship with Jesus when we first met. He saw Christ in me and he said he saw God’s favor on me and that he wanted Jesus as his savior too. So he chose to accept Christ and here we are today, married four years now. God knows exactly what He is doing in your life and His timing is wayyyy better than we could have ever dreamed of.
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. Romans 15:13 NIV
Now on to how his timing worked with the dogs. The summer before my senior year of college my dad let me adopt a dog and keep it at their house until I got my first apartment. So that is where Luke Bryan, my late Pomeranian Papillon mix comes into play. He was such a sweet boy. Very smart, loved to do tricks, he loved his bones, loved adventure and walks, loved everyone. I have written quite a few blogs about him. He and my dog Mikki are my two heart dogs. Luke unfortunately had kidney disease he was born with and I lost him in April 2018, but I know he was meant to be in my life and he had a purpose he fulfilled. After Leia, and being scammed by the random Craiglist person, I found our long-haired Chihuahua Mabel aka Mae Mae at a shelter near Athens. She was at the Mingle with the Mutts weekend adoption event in Columbus October 2017. We fell in love and adopted her and she and Luke were instant bff’s. Shortly after I realized why God gave me such a desire to want another dog so badly, it was because my favorite uncle was going to pass away unexpectedly just a few months later and just the week after I would find out Luke was dying from kidney disease. So without Mae Mae, I don’t think I could have survived all of that. Plus she helped Luke live a few extra months because she brought out an extra playful side in him.
In February 2018 I got MilkyWay aka Mikki my black and white Pomeranian. I was hoping she would be able to be my replacement service dog since Luke had a limited amount of time left. I wasn’t sure how things would go. Well she may well be the best dog I’ve ever owned. She exceeded every expectation I had. She knows how to alert if I am going to have a seizure, migraine, and assists with anxiety. She is very sweet and also smart. She is very in tune with me and loves to be held and carried by me. She loves to dance and she is very nurturing with her dog siblings. She is like my daughter, I know she’s a dog...but if she could fulfill a special role as closely as possible that is a role she fulfills. She and I just have a special bond. It’s perfect. I couldn’t have asked for a better dog. And it gets better even though the one dog was ahhhh we got Petra, a chiweenie, last summer from the same shelter we got Luke from. Petra was found running the streets in California and was brought to Ohio. Petra is perfect too. She has such a bold and outgoing personality. She is always ready to play and she is mischievous. She loves to play growl and she is just so silly. She definitely has helped us get through this crazy year 2020 has been. I felt led by God to adopt her too and Robbie felt it was right too after we prayed. And it was meant to be.
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. Romans 15:13 NIV
Now on to how his timing worked with the dogs. The summer before my senior year of college my dad let me adopt a dog and keep it at their house until I got my first apartment. So that is where Luke Bryan, my late Pomeranian Papillon mix comes into play. He was such a sweet boy. Very smart, loved to do tricks, he loved his bones, loved adventure and walks, loved everyone. I have written quite a few blogs about him. He and my dog Mikki are my two heart dogs. Luke unfortunately had kidney disease he was born with and I lost him in April 2018, but I know he was meant to be in my life and he had a purpose he fulfilled. After Leia, and being scammed by the random Craiglist person, I found our long-haired Chihuahua Mabel aka Mae Mae at a shelter near Athens. She was at the Mingle with the Mutts weekend adoption event in Columbus October 2017. We fell in love and adopted her and she and Luke were instant bff’s. Shortly after I realized why God gave me such a desire to want another dog so badly, it was because my favorite uncle was going to pass away unexpectedly just a few months later and just the week after I would find out Luke was dying from kidney disease. So without Mae Mae, I don’t think I could have survived all of that. Plus she helped Luke live a few extra months because she brought out an extra playful side in him.
In February 2018 I got MilkyWay aka Mikki my black and white Pomeranian. I was hoping she would be able to be my replacement service dog since Luke had a limited amount of time left. I wasn’t sure how things would go. Well she may well be the best dog I’ve ever owned. She exceeded every expectation I had. She knows how to alert if I am going to have a seizure, migraine, and assists with anxiety. She is very sweet and also smart. She is very in tune with me and loves to be held and carried by me. She loves to dance and she is very nurturing with her dog siblings. She is like my daughter, I know she’s a dog...but if she could fulfill a special role as closely as possible that is a role she fulfills. She and I just have a special bond. It’s perfect. I couldn’t have asked for a better dog. And it gets better even though the one dog was ahhhh we got Petra, a chiweenie, last summer from the same shelter we got Luke from. Petra was found running the streets in California and was brought to Ohio. Petra is perfect too. She has such a bold and outgoing personality. She is always ready to play and she is mischievous. She loves to play growl and she is just so silly. She definitely has helped us get through this crazy year 2020 has been. I felt led by God to adopt her too and Robbie felt it was right too after we prayed. And it was meant to be.
Now I know I can trust him fully with my current desire, which I already see him working on. He has been answering prayers. I just need to be patient and I will this time because I don't want to do things on my own anymore. I much prefer God's way over my own flawed human way. I just keep giving it to Him daily and trusting Him with the rest and with the knowledge to know when the act and when not to. I really believe this desire will be answered and when it is I will definitely share. When we let God take over he WON’T DISAPPOINT I PROMISE. Go ahead and give him your hearts desire and pray about it. If you desire it for the right reasons and it’s his will, it will be given to you. Just be patient. Enjoy spending time with God <3 It is so worth it and it will save you a lot of heartache. I pray that you will be blessed with your heart’s desires and that you will trust God with your needs and wants, trusting in his perfect timing. God bless you all <3
Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Psalm 37:4 NIV
Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Psalm 37:4 NIV
No comments:
Post a Comment