Wishing I could stop the train part 2 (blessings)

Happy Resurrection Sunday everyone! I hope that you have a blessed day, even though we aren’t able to celebrate it at church like we usually do. This may sound insane, but this is one of the most peaceful Easters I’ve ever had because it is just about what Jesus did for us and remembering that. There is no rushing around, trying to look perfect, having to please several people, and no creepy Easter bunny (I’ve despised him since I was a kid). This isn’t to say that I don’t like gathering for the holiday, I do. I love the special church services held on Resurrection Sunday and spending time outside with family, taking in the outside air and watching my family goof off while I quietly take it all in. Today I am reflecting more than usual on how magnificent the gift of Jesus’ death is to us. There is no other love like His. Nothing like His gift. He is perfect, no sin. He died for the sake of us being able to be cleansed from sin, so that our relationship with the Father can be restored. That is something I hold to now more than ever, because it reminds me that anything I go through in this life is only temporary, and pales in comparison to what Jesus did for me. Any pain now is but a temporary condition. Next year things will be normal, and even better, eternity will be perfect, full of peace and joy. No more sorrow, no more death, no more poverty, no more abuse, no more disease. I can’t wait!

In part one of this mini series, I mentioned how reminiscing on memories helps me to cope with the current world condition, and how it could definitely help you too. Memories are what make us who we are, so it is so important to reflect on them from what we have overcome, to the good we have had so that we don’t let the present trial consume us and ravage our peace and joy. You can read part 1 here: https://traveldogloverangel.blogspot.com/2020/04/wishing-i-could-stop-train-part-1.html I wish that this train could be stopped already so that deaths will end and so that everyone can have a normal life again, but I know we must be patient. So I will continue to do things that are good for my mental and spiritual health, and share those with you too because I want you to be blessed and to experience God to the fullest extent.

The next thing that helps me cope is to look at my blessings (and this works for any trial, especially one as big as this pandemic). In fact, looking at my blessings is what helps me cope with a few lifelong trials I have as someone who has chronic illnesses and is considered “disabled”. I hate that word, because it makes it seem like people with disabilities like myself are "less than". But really, we are stronger because we overcome challenges normal people wouldn’t even know how to handle, and we find different ways to achieve our goals. We don’t give up no matter what is thrown our way. We know it will be a battle of ours until the day we die, unless it is God’s will to heal us, so we have learned to deal with a daily, permanent battle. In a way, I suppose my chronic illnesses for once are a blessing. And what I mean by that is not that it is good to be sick. No, what I mean is what I have learned and endured because of it. It has kept me humble, it has helped me to enjoy the small things in life because some days the only good thing about my day is that God gave me another day alive.

Having chronic illnesses and having/ caring for a family member who has even more severe disabilities than myself has taught me not to sweat the small stuff. I don’t cry over spilled milk, so to speak. I am thankful for the days that we are all able to be together without any pain or sorrow. I am thankful for the days that I don’t have a migraine that makes me unable to do anything, or seizures that sometimes cause me to fall or be unaware of my surroundings. I am thankful for the days that I am not in bed the entire day, where despite desperately wanting to go to work, I can’t because my body is so fatigued from multiple seizures ,that I can’t move more than a few feet without collapsing. I am so thankful for my dogs who will not leave my side when I am sick, and who are always ready to play when I am healthy. I am thankful for a husband who sticks by me, despite my shortcomings from epilepsy. I often wonder why anyone even bothers to stay in my life, because I can’t just always go out and do things like normal people can. Even though I consider myself a burden to others, I have a BIG circle of friends and loved ones who would do anything for me. What more could I ask for?

I am thankful that I am used to being home days that I would rather be outside, as this too is helping me a lot right now. While many are heartbroken over being stuck at home (And trust me I am getting sick of it too) as someone with chronic illnesses, it is no stranger to me. I have had to miss important baby showers, birthday dinners, etc. because of my diseases. It sucks, and sometimes I wish I could just give up on life itself. But everyday I press on is another victory. This temporary halt in our daily lives will not last forever, and since it is temporary, I can more easily cope with it compared to people who have never had to deal with permanent setbacks. My heart goes out to people who aren’t used to being stuck at home, because it is like a culture shock and stressful I am sure. My heart also goes out to anyone stuck in abusive homes right now, and I pray for your safety. My heart goes out to the people on the frontlines right now fighting this awful disease and caring for anyone who falls ill. I am forever grateful for you! I pray daily that God watch over you and that you will be blessed for the sacrifices you make. I am thankful for such an amazing Ohio health director, Dr. Amy Acton. She is totally my celebrity crush because I admire her so much. So smart, yet so humble. I can see the love she has for all of us in how determined she is to make sure the least amount of people die as possible. I am thankful for a governor, Mike Dewine, who makes decisions (that may upset some) in the interest of the whole rather than a few who only care about themselves. It is God who puts leaders into power, and he knew what he was doing when he put Dr. Acton and Mike Dewine in power. That is such a blessing for Ohio!

Let everyone be subject to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God. Consequently, whoever rebels against the authority is rebelling against what God has instituted, and those who do so will bring judgment on themselves Romans 13:1-2 NIV

Enough about my illnesses, I want to share some of my blessings that are truly amazing. My husband and my dogs are my two biggest blessings in my life. My husband Robbie is such a gentle, loving, Godly man who will do anything for me. He and I are truly soulmates, and we have so much fun together. We have a deep and special bond. My dogs are like my children. I haven’t been able to have children of my own and there is a great chance that I will not because I have PCOS and it is the leading cause of infertility. My dogs are my friends who are with me thick and thin, and I have a precious connection with each of them, especially Mikki, my white and black pomeranian. Mikki is my seizure alert service dog, and she has saved my life a few times, letting my husband know when I have stopped breathing in my sleep because of a sleep seizure, or letting me know I am about to have one so I don’t fall and hurt myself. She loves to please me and loves to be cradled like a baby in my arms. She dances around and is always happy. Petra is my second favorite. She is the youngest and she is a wild child. She was rescued from the streets in California and had severe pneumonia before I adopted her. When I heard her story I knew I needed to meet her, and when I met her I met several adoptable dogs; but she chose me when she calmly sat at my feet and licked them. She gives Robbie and I joy with her silly personality. She is always wanting to play wrestle. She loves to run around and do a play growl and bark. When she wants to play she puts both paws in the air and balances on her hind legs. Oh and she play bites my nose sometimes, though we are working on that not being a regular thing haha. Of course I love all of my dogs (and my late dogs like Luke Bryan and Marina). Mae Mae is Robbie’s favorite and she is a sweetie too. Always ready to cuddle and give kisses. The love a dog can give is invaluable, immeasurable, and something that humans are incapable of. Dogs love us no matter what we do, it is the closest example of God’s unconditional agape love he has for us. To live with dogs and enjoy them is amazing. When I got my first dog, it felt as if I had a void in my life filled, something missing from my life that I didn’t even know until I became a dog mom.

Some other blessings I have is the condo we own. It was really hard to find a lender willing to consider us with student loans, but God made a way, and gave us the best possible realtor ever to help us, Leigh Merriman. Every morning I wake up I am grateful to have a roof over my head to call my own, a place that is more affordable than rent has become. If it weren’t for this home, it would be hard to afford anything. But with this condo, it helps us still be able to enjoy life, even with debt. I am thankful to have a car and that God made a way for it have an expensive repair done just a few weeks before this Covid19 hit the US. Without that car, my hubby wouldn’t be able to take me to work right now (I can’t drive because of my seizures). I am thankful for my other job, my online teaching job that gives me the pleasure and opportunity to teach English to wonderful children in China. It has been really cool learning about how our cultures are similar and different, and watching them go from not being able to pronounce or say anything at all, to being able to have conversations with me. They are so loving and keep telling me right now that they love me and want me to stay healthy and safe. I don’t know what I would do without those beautiful souls. I am honored I get to be a special part of their life and prepare them to become global citizens.

I am thankful that I can afford to get takeout several times a week (or go to restaurants when things are normal), as I am a foodie. I am thankful that I have become good friends with some of the waiters and waitresses at places I regularly frequent. Even though it will be a while before I see them again, I am very happy that I can still message them. I am thankful that I have a Bachelor's degree in Journalism and a Masters degree in Organizational Communication, both from Ohio University in Athens, Ohio. I am thankful I got to experience college away from home at such a nice place. I am thankful for the memories made there and for the friendships I will always hold near and dear. I am thankful I had an opportunity to become educated, because so many people are unable to go to college, or even get access to student loans. I hope one day this changes as I would love to see education more accessible for all demographics.

I am thankful that I am a person that sees the best in everyone, and wants good for everyone. I have always valued other cultures and lifestyles different from my own, as I believe every culture has aspects about it that make the world a better place. Everyone is unique, amazing, and lovely. I wish more people had love in their hearts for their neighbors, both here in America and around the world. But I am grateful for the people who do. I have seen the conditions homeless people, and even people from poorer parts of the world, live in and my heart breaks for them. They don’t have even the basic necessities that we all (myself included) can take for granted day to day. If anything, this pandemic has highlighted both some major problems in both our country and the world around us, problems that I hope we don’t forget once everything is normal. Rather, I hope we can become better people as the end of this, doing what is best for our neighbors and those who are less fortunate. I hope we can better share the love of Christ with everyone we come in contact with, and find ways to help everyone have a better life. I also am hopeful that this time in history, we will see more people giving their lives over to Christ, than ever before. I can’t wait to gain more brothers and sisters in Christ. All it takes is admitting we are sinners and that we would like Jesus to be our savior and cleanse us. Then your future is bright, no matter what happens on this temporary earth.

I am thankful for warm summer nights under a sky full of stars, vacations, time with friends and family, swimming, hiking, and shopping too. Don’t worry, we will eventually get back to that in the meantime. Meanwhile, let's follow our leaders and do what Christ would want us to do, which is to love others above ourselves. He will bless us for being faithful. Today I hope you can remember how good God has been to us, and reflect on the many blessings you have in your life. All of us have blessings from God and it is important to give thanks in all circumstances. God bless you and may you have peace and joy even in the midst of the storm.

Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. Philippians 2:1-4 NIV

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. 3:16 NIV

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. 1 John 1:9 NIV