My dog Luke Bryan has been diagnosed with late stage 3 kidney disease recently. My husband and I knew something wasn’t right when he first started acting strange the day before Thanksgiving. Luke was fine when we were going for a short evening walk until my husband Robbie asked him to potty. Usually Luke goes on command, but he became instantly submissive as if we were going to beat him. My hubby has never harmed him so it was strange. He was shaking and acting like a completely different dog. It was as if he had reverted back to his puppy days, as when I first adopted him at 6 months old he had come from an abusive home. We thought maybe he had a weird flashback to the old days and figured he would be okay if it didn’t happen again. On thanksgiving he acted distant toward me, and for a week or two after he favored my dad over me. He ignored his usual obedience and even his service dog tasks. At first I was angry...I thought how could my dog turn on me. He began showing aggression toward me..snarling, growling. Then he began losing weight rapidly and drinking an insane amount of water. He started drinking puddles, snow, toilet water..whatever was nearest him. At that time I looked at his gums and my biggest fear popped in my head : kidney disease. When he began having accidents and not eating I knew I had to get him to an animal hospital for testing. I hoped so badly that he just had a UTI or something minor, but to my dismay I knew it was something much worse when the vet had a frown on his face. He asked if Luke had ever had antifreeze solution, and I said “of course not”. He then said Luke had only half of one kidney functioning and that he was expected to live anywhere from a few days to a year at max. My heart sank...I froze. I was too shocked to cry right then. I watched closely and took mental notes as the vet showed me how to give him subQ fluids and explained what foods were okay for him. I was devastated. Luke was only about to turn 4. On December 13th 2017 my world changed once more, just a day after one of my favorite uncle’s funeral.
On the way home I bawled. I couldn’t fathom losing Luke. The entire time I’ve had him I’ve always tried to take good care of him and I always had anxiety over if anything bad ever happened to him. I was determined to give Luke a long happy life. I had always envisioned him growing old by my side and meeting my future kids. Luke has always loved children and that was something I loved about him. Yet here we are...Luke on the verge of death and I have a disease that can render me infertile. When we pulled into the driveway I remember my husband talking about vet costs and how we were going to go from here. All I could think about though was doing whatever I could to keep him alive and thinking about the void that will occur in my heart and in my life. We began subQ fluids three times a week that night and got him kidney food two days later after he began eating again. We learned that his aggression and neurotic behavior was due to the toxin buildup in his blood and that the fluids would help that. At first the fluids worked great. He was playing everyday for at least a half and hour with his little fur sister Mae. I had hope that God was going to miraculously heal him because he made progress and my sadness went away from a while. I told God I would do anything if I could keep Luke for several years. God responded, but his answer was to trust him and allow him to be where my satisfaction. You see God has been working on my heart for a while when it came to Luke. There was a time where I thought I couldn’t live without Luke...that I would hurt myself if anything happened to him because I needed him.
Luke was more than a companion. He was my service dog for anxiety, depression and migraine alert. I trained him to respond to anxiety attacks and interrupt them. He also would lay on top of me if I was depressed and he would give a signal 10-15 minutes before I had a migraine that would almost make me pass out. Luke also saved my life a few months after I had him, long before I knew anything was wrong with me. He was my first dog and I got him my last year of college. He made my last year of college that much more enjoyable and he was such a fun blessing our first year of marriage. He was far from perfect, but he is the smartest dog I’ve had yet and the most agile/talented.
God has been helping me learn to let go and trust him even when my heart is aching. He has showed me that he will carry me as I go through this process He has revealed to me that I don’t have to worry about Luke because when he passes he will be with God and one day I will see him again. Some Christians don’t believe animals will be in Heaven, but there is scripture that says otherwise. In Romans, God reveals that creation will one day be freed from the curse of sin when those who trust in Jesus are all reunited with God in Heaven. Animals and our beloved pets/ service animals are a part of creation, so I rest assured knowing that he will waiting for me. My first furpet, a brown tabby named Dusty Marie passed February of last year. I had her since she was a newborn and she was the sweetest cat. Mischievous but a beautiful creature inside and out. Luke’s illness has been reminding me of Dusty and I long for her. I had her from age 12 to 24. I remember praying one night a few weeks after losing her, asking God if I would see her again and he gently whispered in my ear that she was with him now and she awaits the day that she will see me again.
For the creation waits in eager expectation for the children of God to be revealed. For the creation was subjected to frustration, not by its own choice, but by the will of the one who subjected it, in hope that creation itself will be liberated from its bondage to decay and brought into the freedom and glory of the children of God.
22 We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. Romans 8:19-22 NIV
Remembering all the good memories I’ve had with Luke and how special of a dog he was is helping me come to terms with the reality that he will soon pass. He was a gift from God and he enhanced my life in many ways. He was there for me in some really bad, and some really special times. He taught me which dog breeds I prefer as he is a mix of my favorite three (papillon, pomeranian, chihuahua). I also have learned through him and Dusty that I have a special bond with animals and I connect with them almost the same as with humans. They’re not human of course, but they are special friends to me. They’re my passion and one of the things I enjoy most in life. I also know that God has a purpose for anything and that I don’t deserve anything from him because I as a human have sinned. But he loved me so much that he brought his own son into the world so I could be saved from my fleshly mistakes. He loved me so much that he gave me such a big heart toward animals and have blessed me with some of the best. As I grieve my current circumstance, what keeps me going is the fact that God has only good for me, and that he will be my rock during this hard time. I don’t know why Luke has to go so soon and why he had to have such a bad disease. All creation has dealt with the curse of sin and no one is untouched. I am sure it grieves his heart even more than mine because he created Luke himself. I can trust that he will take good care of both of my babies and that he will help me move forward. I look forward to what God has next in my life journey as I grow closer to the likeness of Christ and no matter what, Luke will forever live in my heart. Who knows, God could still do a miracle in my dog too you never know. Either way, my future remains bright and blessed. Here are some promises I am clinging to, that you can as well for whatever storm may be coming your way. God is a good God he will carry you through anything and. Stay faithful to him he will bring around many blessings
So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10
Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed,” says the LORD, who has compassion on you. Isaiah 54:10
Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Psalm 37:4
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28
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