Is it a genuine compliment or flattery? Discerning Deceit

A few days ago I was talking with my older sister about a weird feeling I had about someone I had recently befriended. I told her that I couldn’t shake the feeling that something wasn’t quite right, and that I couldn’t put my finger on it. I remember having these feeling quite a few times throughout my life, especially a few encounters in my teenage years and early 20s. As we talked we shared our experiences with people who ended up being different than they appeared.

It was then that I realized what I had picked up on recently: flattery. I feel that everyone is exposed to flattery at least a few times in their lives, which is why I decided to speak on the subject today. In fact, as I write this I can think of how someone used flattery recently to try and manipulate my mom just a few days ago. As you can probably deduce, flattery is rarely if ever a good thing. Flattery seeks to make another person feel good about themselves. But what is wrong with that? You may say. Well this definition alone would actually be the definition of encouragement or compliments. However, there is another piece that separates flattery from those two. Flattery is rooted in a desire to seek a means to an end, whereas the other two are genuinely about making someone else feel valued and cherished. Encouraging and complimenting are meant to edify others and shed light on their value. It is meant to make a brother or sister feel their worth. Encouragement and compliments come from the heart and not from a selfish motive.

The problem with flattery appearing similar to genuine encouragement is that it is often hard to decipher the difference between the two. The Holy Spirit has gifted me with discernment of spirit, and evenso, I have fallen for flattery a few times. Flattery can quickly ensnare you long before it is apparent which can lead to consequences such as manipulation, abuse, danger, regretful decisions, etc. However, it can be avoided if we lean on the Lord and ask him to open our eyes to it. Whenever we ask for wisdom, God will graciously grant it to us. You can never ask for too much wisdom, so whenever you feel unsure don’t hesitate to pray about it and ask another brother or sister to give you an outsider view. I am going to share a few examples of times I have been faced with flattery to give you an idea of the many forms it can take.

“ If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.” James 1:5 NIV

One of the times I fell hard for a flattery trap was my first year of college. I was young and naive and didn’t see obvious signs in front of me. I had made several friends, but there was one in particular that went the extra mile to make me feel good. She would constantly tell me how beautiful I was and how smart I was. She and I were instantly best friends and it felt great. I thought she really cared about me and I was excited to see where the friendship went. Eventually, I became uncomfortable with the turn our friendship had taken. After many remarks of how she could love me better than my boyfriend at the time, and how sexy I was, I felt that I needed some space. When I tried to talk to her, she shifted the blame to me and abruptly quit speaking to me. She then tried to intentionally make me jealous of her new best friend that she had replaced me with. It hurt, I’m not going to lie. I thought this person was a true friend...and they weren’t. However, I learned from the situation. When someone gives you exaggerated compliments, or over the top physical compliments, there is something strange going on. Whether the motivation is jealousy or attraction, or whatever, it isn’t pure because it has to do with the person getting something for themselves, rather than having a healthy relationship of give and take. Another way to tell if it is flattery is if the remarks make you feel uncomfortable. True compliments edify and encourage you, not make you feel bad. If someone truly wants to be a close friend of yours, the friendship will naturally grow. It takes time to get to know someone.

Both of my exes tried to use flattery to get something physical out of the relationship before marriage. Since I wouldn’t oblige, they wanted to end the relationship. I feel that this is one of the most common instances of flattery. When getting to know someone of the opposite sex, watch for signs of flattery. Constantly trying to get you to do something you aren’t okay with is never a good thing, so don’t fall for it. Ask God to help you find the right person, and be sure to let God be your first love. Once you do that, you will find someone who will uphold God’s standards in His timing.

The last example I am going to share is when flattery almost got me into a dangerous situation. My first year of grad school I met someone who needed my help. This older woman was very kind to me and showed gratitude, as well mentioned that she was a believer. She then said based on my personality she could tell I was also one. She complimented me on how she could see Christ in me and what a wonderful person I was. That made me great and I felt like I must have been doing something right because someone saw Jesus in me. A few months go by and we began go to a weekly Christian meeting on campus together because she expressed interest. It was nice being able to take someone to these weekly meetings that filled my spirit. My husband would sometimes go with us, but he worked until after it began, so he often ended up picking me up to drive me home after since the shuttle to my apartment quit running after a certain hour. Everything seemed great until I began getting weird texts and what happened the next time we ran into each other. The last time we went to 180 together was when she acted strange. She told me to meet her in the library and then she wasn’t there. She told me to meet her on another floor and she still wasn’t there. About 10 mins pass and suddenly she is right behind me. She apologized for being late and then eagerly said we should go to our the meeting together like we always had. She noticed my husband at work and asked if he would join. He declined because he was exhausted and didn’t want to arrive late. The woman was annoyed that he declined and began to shame him in front of others. She said that he must need prayer since he wasn’t coming and that it wasn’t right for him to decline. After a minute she calmed down because someone called her. It was then that a strange man walked into the library. She introduced him as her “male friend” and said that he was coming along with us today. Something didn’t feel right, but I calmly decided to go to with them to the meeting since I had another friend meeting me up there. Robbie(my hubby) was worried and told me to be very careful. He felt something was terribly wrong.


On the way to the meeting the woman her “male friend” tried giving her a black bag. She blushed and said it was a thong and that she didn’t want it right then, so she told him to keep it. Suddenly my mind starts racing because something really was off. Her “friend” started questioning where I lived and such as we walked down the hill to Morton hall. The last time a strange man asked where I lived shortly attempted to assault me afterward because I didn’t respond, so I prayed that God would keep me safe this time… and he did. I told them man that I lived in a dorm nearby and then texted my friend that I needed to talk to her when we arrived. When we got to 180 my other friend was waiting outside thankfully, so the four of us sat together. After a few praise and worship songs my friend actually pulled me to the side herself and said we needed to leave asap. So we hurried out and she drove us to my apartment. On the way to the apartment she said that something wasn’t right and that she was worried about my safety. She begged me to never hangout with that woman again, and I took her and my husband’s advice because I believe it was confirmation that the situation was bad. I’m so thankful that God and Jesus looked out for me.

Flattery is a sin because it is selfish and can be harmful. However, none of us our perfect, which is why we must lean on God to reveal to us whether a situation is flattery and if so, what we should do. Sometimes people use flattery because they really want to be your friend and hope that you find them cool. Sometimes it is used because someone wishes to date you, or sell you a house, car, etc. Flattery may seem like an okay thing to do because “ how harmful can it be to get someone to like us or do what we want” one may say. However, God is the one who decides the rules and he says it is bad for a reason. God wants us to treat others with love. True love doesn’t lie, it tells the TRUTH. We can truthfully compliment someone without trying to force them to be our friends. We can make someone we hope to date feel good without expecting anything in return. We can do our job if it requires selling things in truth. We can mention that this car would be perfect, but also be truthful with what we say instead of lying to get a sale. God has a lot to say about flattery!

“I appeal to you, brothers, to watch out for those who cause divisions and create obstacles contrary to the doctrine that you have been taught; avoid them. For such persons do not serve our Lord Christ, but their own appetites, and by smooth talk and flattery they deceive the hearts of the naive. For your obedience is known to all, so that I rejoice over you, but I want you to be wise as to what is good and innocent as to what is evil.” Romans 8:16-19 ESV

“A man who flatters his neighbor spreads a net for his feet.” Proverbs 29:25 ESV

“A lying tongue hates its victims, and a flattering mouth works ruin” Proverbs 26:28 ESV

We all fall short of the glory and sin, so it is possible to confront a brother or sister on flattery, forgive, and continue on. And sometimes… God may tell us that the person never has good intentions, so we should walk away. Back to one of my newer friends: I don’t know for sure if they have been using flattery to deceive me or if they are just expressing how they really feel. What I do know is that I can and will be praying and God will give me the answer. He will let me know what to do from here. I encourage you to ask God to give you guidance whenever you feel unsure and don’t be afraid to talk to the person about it as well(as long as you can safely!). God bless and I wish you loving, truthful relationships <3.

There is freedom when we let go of unhealthy relationships

Hey everyone! It’s been a minute since I last blogged, so I am glad to be at it again. A lot has happened since I lost Luke. Of course, not a day goes by that I don’t miss him, but I rest assured I will see him again. These past few months I have been able to get back into the swing of things learning my new normal all while growing closer to my puppy Mikki! She is perfect and she is almost done with her service dog training <3. I also graduated with my Master’s degree in Organizational Communication and look forward the career journey God has for me! Along with that, there is something very exciting happening in my life right now. I can’t wait to share it with you all in a few months :). Speaking of excitement, it’s almost Robbie’s and I’s two year wedding anniversary, and I have to say that our marriage continues to get better with time. It has always been AWESOME, yet it somehow still gets even more fulfilling, loving, exhilarating, and blessed as time goes on. During these two years God has worked on us both a lot, and today I’d like to share in particular how he has helped free me from the bondage of toxic relationships.

A little over a year ago I remember sitting in my living room in tears wondering why I would feel so empty after giving my all to people I loved and cared about. My supposed “best friend” and her sister would want to hang out with me at least a few times a month and each time I felt as if I couldn’t be myself. I was super anxious and uncomfortable...and it was because of what went on during our times together. My friend’s sister in particular was extremely blunt, rude, controlling, and self-centered. My friend knew this and yet she still always dragged her sister along because her sister was “lonely”. Let me backup for a minute and mention that this friend and her sister were the ones who killed the dog that was supposed to be my first dog. I’m sure you’re thinking now, “why on earth would I go around them again?” Honestly, I ask myself that question all the time and the answer really boiled down to me believing them when they said they were sorry and had changed, and because I felt bad for my friend. I was her only friend and many times she would point that out. Her sister would say that my friend needed me...and I took that to heart. We had been besties for almost 15 years at that point, so I felt awful at the thought of cutting her off. In my mind I was convinced that I had to put up with emotional abuse because they were lost and needed God’s love. I believed that if I put up with it long enough that they would eventually change and accept Christ into their hearts, or at the very least, learn to respect me for our differing viewpoints. I was wrong. Very wrong.


For months I had endured being told the following by them:

• I was stupid
• I wasted my time getting a Master’s
• My marriage can’t be that good
• I should get rid of my cats because cats suck
• Don’t I dare consider getting a house in a suburb.
• That I belonged in the bad area that I grew up in and that was where I was meant to stay
• That my religion, being a Christ follower that is, was meaningless
• Don’t buy that, you can’t possibly afford that since you live in New Albany now( It was a $10 scent plug in from bath and body works) I was well aware of my budget and always have been.
• Dont get that kind of dog because it’s stupid, labs are better
• That I was fat and had terrible hair(mind you they are both obese...but that is neither here nor there)
• Oh and during my bachelorette weekend, my “friend” acted like a spoiled brat because we had to walk a bit. She literally laid down on the sidewalk throwing fit.

This isn’t the only toxic relationship I had in my life. There are also some other acquaintances and family members that Robbie and I have had to deal with that are very emotionally manipulative and abusive as well. These people would put us down, disregard my Master’s degree, act as if I am irresponsible and dumb, try to control everything I did, act as if my husband wasn’t good for me. Try and put a wedge in our marriage. A few even tried get rid of me/ convince my hubby that he was better off without me. The thing is, we were doing nothing wrong. I was loving my husband and he was loving me. We were enjoying making choices together as a married couple. We put God and Jesus at the center of our decisions and relationship, and many didn’t like that. We were basically was expected to put up with crap because we were the “nice ones”. So ya, I was up to my eyes in feeling like the world would be better off without me and surrendering to the demands the toxic people...but God had other plans. One day I was reading posts in a Christian blogging group and this one woman twisted God’s word in a terrible way. I was explaining to her the truth and this other nice lady helped back me up with scripture. Eventually we gave up trying because it was clear this girl was a troll or something. After that, I messaged her because I appreciated her helping me out and that’s when our friendship began.

A few days later I texted her to wish her a happy mother’s day, and she thanked me while also sharing how she and her mom no longer talked because her mother was an abusive narcissist. As she explained what her mother had done to her...I began connecting the dots. These toxic people we were dealing with also were narcissists. You see, narcissism is more than being self-absorbed. A narc is ALWAYS right and never wrong. A narc thrives on getting attention when he or she wants it, at the expense of others. They will often pretend to be Christians, but through their actions it is obvious that they are not. Christ followers do not manipulate and abuse others. They also gaslight and move the goal post….they will convince you that you are the worst human alive. That nothing you do is good enough. That you must do everything for them and that you owe it to them. That you aren’t able to make decisions on your own and that you need their expertise. They will act as if their life is horrible and that you need to run to the ends of the earth to fix it. They rely on you to get gratification and feel good. They don't know how to manage their own emotions. Deep down inside they feel self-conscious, but they cover that up by making others feel bad. They don’t like it if you don’t make them your #1. They don’t want you to have other friends. You’re not allowed to have your own life because it is supposed to revolved around them. The minute you refute them, they start trying to brainwash you into thinking you’re selfish and that you made a mistake. The spirit of Jezebel is also at play here and that spirit will do anything to wreck another life so that they have complete control. It is a power demonic spirit that we need to be aware of because if you let it wreak havoc in your life it will destroy everything you have going for you. How does one deal with this you may ask? Keep reading and I will tell you.

Once I was able to identify that I had multiple narcs trying to suck the life out of me, my friend and I talked about the importance of praying against evil spirits, as well as people who want to harm us. She reminded me that in Christ we have infinite power because he lives in those who choose to follow him. So we began praying and asking God to give us strength to put up healthy boundaries where need be. It was hard at first, I won’t lie. The toxic people fought back because they didn’t like the boundaries. But we kept praying and asking God to give us strength. Now a year later I have cut ties with any and every toxic friendship and we have put up healthy boundaries. We no longer get worried or scared if someone tries to manipulate us because honestly is Jesus is for us, who is against us? When you allow Jesus into your heart, you become one of God’s children and he wants the best for us. He will protect us from anyone who seeks to do us harm. God always is faithful and he always shows that he will never leave nor forsake us.


What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? Romans 8:31 NIV


“Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” Deuteronomy 31:6 NIV

It took me a while to finally completely cut out the old bestie that was harmful, but at last I have done it! It took a while because I kept battling the devil’s lies...but God gave me strength to do overcome the lies. God is wayyy stronger than satan, so we are always victorious when we let God fight our battles for us. It was when I gave it to God, along with my fears, that I had strength to say “No, I deserve better”. I finally listed to what my husband and other friends were telling me. I am so free!

I have felt freedom and great joy being able to be me without having people constantly putting me down. I’ve learned to ignore any negative family members and to completely cut ties with bad relationships. Sometimes God wants us to cut people out of our lives because they will cause us to believe lies and hold us back from the blessings he has for us. I used to think I needed my old best friend because she was technically my best friend. But when I think about it, I have several best friends who would go to the end of the earth to do anything for me. These friends love me for me. When you’ve dealt with emotional abuse for years, it takes a toll on how you view yourself. This past year I have began to love myself again.

I have realized that everything about me is special and good. I can be free to have whatever dogs I want and to talk about them 24/7. I can enjoy jazz music, country, and EDM. I can wear whatever I want, do whatever I want to my hair. I don’t have to deal with racist remarks that I am ugly because I am biracial. I now know that is a lie and I will embrace who God has made me. I can travel wherever I want, hang out with whoever I want. I can enjoy being the intellectual person I am and I can enjoy my creative side. When I get rid of toxic people, I finally see how much I am valued and my worth.


My true friends and the loving family members acknowledge all my accomplishments and don’t mind if I all talk about sometimes is dog stuff. They listen. God has shown my husband and I that we deserve people who show us the same love that we give. All of my true best friends only see the good in me. I still am taken aback by some of the nice things they say sometimes, but then I remember that they are true. With positive, loving people surrounding me I can be all God has for me to be. I can show others the love of Jesus and change lives.

My friend that I met through that group, she and I talk all the time. She is the older sister I always yearned for. I am the younger sister she always wanted. It’s crazy how much we have in common and the similar things we have both gone through. We both have PCOS, we both have dealt with anxiety and depression. We both have dealt with abuse and have overcome it. She is so wise so I enjoy hearing her Godly advice and she has said that I also inspire and encourage her. After our conversations I feel very happy and blessed. I wish we could talk every single day haha, but the longer we go without talking just means more to talk about haha.

My other friends have also been lovely friends. I was so scared that I would lose friends when I admitted that I have an anxiety disorder, depression, and SPD...but I was relieved when they were like, it’s okay we love you for you. I value each of them so much and if you are reading this, you know who you are. Some of my best friends I have met in college during undergrad. One of those friends and I both had abusive romantic relationships that we both helped each other get out of. Today we are both happily married and freed from that bondage. I love each and every one of my friends for different reasons. Oh and it bring me joy that one of them I led to her now husband, who is also one of my best friends. I still have a few high school besties too. Having friends that love you for you is a must! I like to befriend people wherever I go, although I have learned that it isn’t the quantity of friends you have, but the quality. I can always tell when someone is going to be a special part of my life. Just recently, I met someone who is such an inspiration to me. She is so positive, talented, a go-getter. She doesn’t let life hold her down or back, and she has an infectious personality. She has already made me feel so loved with the kind encouraging words that I sometimes need reminded of. I look forward to getting to know her more. Oh and she has to teach me her technique because she has won some good $$ at blackjack lol.

I have shared all of this because I know that many of you have gone through similar things, and I want you to find the healing and freedom that I have found. Literally, my life is 100x better today than it was a year ago. My husband got baptized last year in May and I felt God working in our lives more than before. During a facebook fast I heard him speaking truth to me daily. He told me to trust in him and that he would bring me through everything. He was 100% correct. I can look forward to things and also live in the moment. If you are reading this and don’t have a personal relationship with the creator of all life and everything in the universe, I invite you to ask Jesus into your heart as your Lord and Savior. Jesus died for our sins so that we can have a restored relationship with him and God our father. God desires good for each of us and everlasting life for all of us. I know some of you may be feeling apprehensive about this, and I respect whatever decision you make. But I can tell you this...I promise following Christ will give you all the fulfillment you ever need. I am here today because of Jesus’s love. You don’t need to change anything about you, God wants you how you are now.

Literally he has sent people into my life that weren’t by chance and he has protected me from situations that could have ruined my life forever. He has saved my life more than once. My mom, Luke, and I almost were crushed on the way home from my undergrad graduation. Someone ran a light going 70 miles per hour and there was no way we were going to avoid that. I saw our lives flash before my eyes and all I could do was scream Jesus and push Luke onto the floor of the car because I didn’t want him to die or for him to be crushed into my chest. The backseat was filled with all my college apartment belongings. My mom breaked and prepared for the worst. Suddenly I felt us move and the car had just skimmed past us. People got out of their cars thinking we were going to get slammed...but we weren’t hit! God used his force to move us into safety because he still had a purpose for my mother and I, and even Luke. That was several years ago. If God will use his power to protect me, he will do the same for you if you let him. God bless my loves and talk to you soon!

A tribute to my first dog Luke Bryan(a huge blessing from God)

I don’t even know how to put to words the amount of pain I feel right now after losing my first dog Luke. He was only four, and it fills me with sorrow that any animal should have an awful disease. I feel that he deserves to be honored as he was such a big blessing from God, even though I’ve only had him a few years. For me, he wasn’t “just a dog”. No, he was my first dog and also my first service dog to assist with a few disabilities I have. He is the reason I cannot live without another dog, the reason I am passionate about loving dogs and training them. I love him more than anyone could even know and I look forward to the day I get to Heaven and he jumps into my arms, licking me all over. Here is a tribute I wrote of his life and what a faithful companion and furkid he was. Please excuse any typos, I will come in and edit those eventually. It's a bit long, but I promise you will enjoy reading it until the end. <3

I remember the first texts that I sent his foster mom. I was supposed to be getting another dog from an ebay classifieds posting, but something didn’t seem right. I later found out it was a scam, so God led me to adopt a dog in need. I searched Petfinder and found him. He was adorable and I was surprised that he was listed as a pug mix, as I didn’t see that in him. I was drawn to  him because of that, as at the time my then boyfriend, now husband, liked pugs the best. I sat in Bob Evans eating breakfast with my family a few months before my senior year of undergrad at Ohio University, as I texted a kind lady. She asked why I wanted to adopt and I told her I wanted a companion and a best friend. She instantly replied that she thought I was a perfect match for Luke(then Toby) and said she wouldn’t let anyone else look at him until I got the chance to. My dad had agreed a few weeks prior to let me have a dog at their house, especially given what happened with the dog that was supposed to be my first dog(more on that in a bit). I was so excited to meet him, so the next day my friend Brittany Schafer took me to meet him. When I came in he ran toward me and wanted me to pet him. I felt an instant bond. The foster went over his food and personality, and as she talked he made himself comfortable on my lap chewing bones(which are his favorite thing besides me). When she asked if I wanted to adopt him, I didn’t hesitate. She had me fill out the forms at her kitchen table and he followed me. He sat at my feet. As I filled out the paperwork, I found out his foster mom was an OU alumna. Her eyes sparkled as she told me she was so excited that he would get to live on campus with me and be an OU dog. I left him with her for two weeks because of a trip I was going on with Robbie(my now hubby) and my friend Rebecca.

My grandmother took me to pick him up on July 6th, 2014. He was so happy to see me again and he smiled the whole way home. When I got to my parents house he was excited to meet everyone, and I thought it was funny how loud it sounded when he sniffed things(I was used to cats smelling things quietly haha). I loved playing with him in the backyard and I learned quickly that he was fond of tennis balls. The first night I had him he barked in his crate, so he slept next to me. He peed the bed though, so I somehow got him to sleep in the crate next to me. I will admit, it was stressful at first dealing with accidents, chewing, and whining at times in the middle of the night. I remember crying on the phone with Robbie because I wasn’t sure how I could handle him crying every night keeping me awake. Robbie consoled me and assured me that things would get better. He said I could give him back, but that he wanted me to wait it out a while longer because he felt that this dog was a special gift. In my heart I couldn’t fathom getting rid of him. So instead I learned many training techniques. I laugh when I think about that today because I have multiple dogs now and I couldn’t understand why I had such a hard time at first.

Weeks went on and Luke learned very quickly. By the time college started back up, I was ready to have him by my side the busiest year of my undergrad years. Kristin(now a best friend of mine) was one of my roommates who lived in the apartment a year prior. She was nice enough to give me her keys so that I could move most of my stuff in before the actual move in day. When Robbie met him, he fell in love. Luke loved biting on him and they play wrestled together on the floor. My first night in my first apartment we walked and  I used a cool green light up leash. I felt like something was complete in me. It’s as if Luke was meant to be a part of me, and now that I’ve lived with him many years I can attest to that. Fall semester I enjoyed many walks with Luke and playing fetch. I felt so happy and he was such a good puppy(aside for peeing on Shannon’s bookbag lol). He whined and barked when I’d leave him at first, but relaxing music, specifically music from relaxmydog albums and bones helped him be a good boy while I juggled school, part time work at the library, being a bible study leader, and a few other extra curriculars. My friend Sarah thought I was crazy starting my last year of college with a puppy, and perhaps I did take a great risk, but it proved worth it. I made sure I spent plenty of time with Luke everyday, and he helped long hectic days start and end strong. Our first road trip was the weekend of labor day. My mom took us to the family reunion in Kentucky. He was a good boy the whole trip, except for whining in the hotel for a bit when we went the mall. He has such a big smile in the pics I have of him on his first road trip. He loved running around in Kentucky with all of my family and some young cousins. Robbie and I raised him together. We quickly learned that his favorite word was laser and that he drank way to much water. The vet’s thought it was just a puppy behavior and a learned behavior due to his abuse prior to me adopting him. He was abandoned by his first owners when they moved out, and it makes me very mad to this day. How could anyone do that? They got him a few  weeks before they moved and they had another dog? Well, it just meant that he needed my love all the more...little did I know how much I would need him.

Later on in the year I had to deal with a scary situation with an ex boyfriend harassing me with phone calls and texts from multiple numbers. He began showing up places I would be at too and tried to corner me once, but a friend saw and helped me. Luke was there when I would run to the bathroom to get sick everytime my ex sent threatening texts. Eventually, he stopped...but it was traumatic and terrifying. Little did I know Luke would also save my life when I first began showing signs of depression and severe anxiety. I couldn’t understand why I was having such awful thoughts, but I do know that I experienced a bit of exclusion from the Christian group I was a part of. People intentionally ignored me at times and kept me out of fun plans, despite my attempts to be kind to everyone. It led me to feeling useless,defeated and questioning if God really still wanted to use me. Luke kept me from making a decision that would have left my family, friends, and husband devastated. When I felt that way, particularly on one night, Luke wouldn’t leave my side. He licked me like crazy and helped calm me down. I didn’t realize until almost a year later that he would be the perfect helper with my anxiety and depression.

Fast forward to my first year of grad school. Everything was going fine and two of my roommates were good friends to me. Yet I couldn’t shake thoughts that I wasn’t good enough, amid many others. Eventually when one roommate had a grease fire(I wasn’t there nor was Luke), Robbie realized that my response wasn’t healthy. I began constantly worrying whether or not a fire would happen again. Everyday I worried all day long that Luke would be consumed by a fire and how I couldn’t live without him. I checked outlets everyday to make sure things  plugged in were okay. I unplugged  certain things because I was afraid an electrical fire would happen. I put my phone on the floor across from my bed at night in case it would miraculously  explode. You see, I do have some traumatic memories with fire. But in each case it was contained. I experienced my biggest fear, a building fire, when I was living at my first apartment. I didn’t hear the smoke alarms right away, but Luke’s howling woke me up. Thankfully the fire was only in the kitchen of a downstairs apartment. Anywho, when i began struggling with anxiety to the point that I couldn’t function… I finally gave in and spoke with a therapist over the phone. It was through those phone calls that I was diagnosed and given a letter for Luke to become my service dog. At first I didn’t think he had what it took, but I was wrong. He learned his tasks so quickly. He excelled at training at a few stores that let me take him in during training and he nearly made it to where he was  a full service dog. We went to restaurants together, the mall, the library where I worked, and many other campus buildings. I was so proud of him and he helped me out a ton. Eventually I made him an at home only service dog because I noticed after a while that he would shake for some reason...he didn’t shake at first. I thought maybe service work became too stressful for him in public, so he was a huge help at home. Little did I know that was a small hint that he wasn’t healthy. He seemed fine for another two years. It was incredible how well he did as a service dog. I had him off leash trained and he was so in tune with me. He could alert to cortisol rises(anxiety related) and he eventually showed that he could alert to my chronic migraines. He was such a blessing from God. I was determined to never let anything happen to him. I wanted to give him the best life ever and a long life.

He was our first pet as a married couple, and he helped me adjust to living in Athens during the summer time when there wasn’t much to do or many people to see. Robbie, Luke, and I took walks in a nice neighborhood near our first apartment together and Luke loved every minute of it. He loved walking along the river with us and he enjoyed hiking at radar hill, and strouds run. Luke’s first best friend was a beagle chihuahua mix named Tucker. They would run around the dog park that was at our apartment and hump each other(crazy I know, but they’re animals lol). Luke made us desire a second dog so we tried with a free border collie we found off of facebook. Well the collie had aggression issues I wasn’t comfortable handling in a busy apartment complex, so we found the proper home for her. Eventually we got Leia the white pomeranian from a breeder in Kentucky. Luke cuddled in the bed with Robbie and I at night and he always watched me clean or take a bath. He was super excited when we got Chloe our first cat together. Chloe was scared of him at first, but she came around. Soon they would run and wrestle together. Luke is why Chloe today is such a well rounded cat. She loves all dogs and doesn’t mind rough housing. When I found out my dad had a stroke, Luke was with me. We traveled between Columbus and Athens each week because I wanted to be there for my family. He cuddled me on nights when I wasn’t with my husband because he was working in Athens. Luke assured me everything would be okay, and it was.

When we moved into our townhome, Luke loved running up and down the stairs with the laser. He also enjoyed daily walks  on the bike path across the street. When we got Leia, he was jealous for one day, and then he wanted to play with her. Unfortunately, she was afraid of him so we gave her to a friend. She is happy as an only dog now. Months passed and Luke was there thick and thin. Some traumatic things happened and Luke would lay right next to me, not moving  until I was ready. We watched thunderstorms together on our patio and he sat patiently by my feet while I worked on my online grad school classes. He was there when depression got really bad, to the point that some days all i could do after work was sit and stare at the wall. He never got upset if we went a few days without walking. He wanted to be right next to me. Luke was so attached to me that he would cry anytime he saw me packing bags for trips and he would physically wrap her arms around my legs to hold on tight. Luke is the reason I love papillons,chihuahuas, and pomeranians. He enjoyed playing with one of my neighbors great dane puppies named Radar, and he also learned to like Kona, his husky puppy neighbor on the other side. Everything seemed great, except one or twice last summer he didn’t want to eat food and I had to force feed him. He also growled at me a few times, which wasn’t like him. The behaviors weren’t prominent, so we assumed he just had an off day.

When we got Mae, one of his chihuahua little sisters, he was ecstatic. She was so scared of him at first, but she eventually came around. They began playing together. They loved dressing up for halloween and going to the Circleville pumpkin show. The longer I had Mae, the more I realized she was the first dog that I liked almost as much as Luke. No other dog could compare up to this point. Everything seemed perfect finally….until I hit a bad low with depression that i felt i couldn’t get out of for two months. I also got diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Disease and was told I shouldn’t ever get off birth control because I would have so many cysts that it would harm me. I felt awful, I had gained weight and I now realized I may not be able to have kids. Luke made sure I took walks on some days when I didn’t want to. Luke was also there for me when we found out my uncle steve was at the end of the road with his long battle with heart disease. Uncle Steve was one of my favorite uncles and it crushed me that the day after thanksgiving was one of the last days I’d ever see him, until Jesus returns. Luke licked away my tears as I grieved the loss of my uncle. At the same time however, we noticed some very notable behavior changes. One night he acted extremely fearful when we took him potty and he wanted  to run from us once inside. It wasn’t like him. He also began bone guarding again, a behavior I had trained out of him. We noticed he peed himself once or twice and then realized something was truly wrong. The day after my uncle’s funeral we rushed him to an animal hospital as he was crying in pain and wouldn’t eat. He lost three pounds when the vet weighed him. I was praying it was just a bad UTI...then when the vet came back in I knew it was bad when he had tears in his eyes.  Luke had end stage kidney disease and he would live at most another year. I was devastated. I sobbed on the way home and for several days after. It took a few days to stabilize him and I had to give him IV fluids several times a week. In January I thought I was going to lose him to the battle, but through prayer from friends and family, he lived another three months. For a while he did so well I thought he was going to stay for a while. I relaxed and began enjoying every moment with him.

In February, we brought home a pomeranian puppy from the same breeder. It was interesting because in January God told me to get another dog through her, that this time it would work. Well God knows best! The puppy we brought home was one of my valentine’s gifts and she was sure special. She was originally going to be kept for breeding, but the breeder said she craved attention, more than she could give. I felt a instant bond with this pup and she reminded me of several qualities I loved in Luke. She settled in well and for two months I had three dogs. Contrary to what people might think, having three was actually easy and fun. Two could play together while one stayed in my lap. Luke was such a good older brother. He let his baby sister have his bone, something Mae didn’t even have privy too. He taught her to potty outside and how to lay down. I was hoping a miracle could happen and I could have more years with Luke. Yet, last week he went downhill very fast. He suddenly acted very aggressive toward me. When he bit me last week and then acted like he didn’t know where he was for two days… I sadly knew it was time. I consulted his vet and I had to make the decision I never wanted to make. After always fearing Luke would die in a fire or by an aggressive dog.. I was wrong. He would die from something I had absolutely no control over. I tried my best to prepare myself for this time, but it didn’t help.

This past weekend I tried to give him the best weekend possible. He got food from House of Japan, a long walk in the rain, tons of affection, and some chicken nuggets. When Monday rolled around I prayed for a sign he wasn’t ready, but he began screeching in pain. I knew it was time. The ride to the vet was the longest 15 minute car ride of my life. I felt my heart ripped in two as I watched him fall asleep. I couldn’t stay for the final shot, it was too much for my heart to bear. My husband cried too as he watched Luke come unconscious. The word Lazer didn’t phase him. He tried to fight falling asleep because he didn’t want to leave my side. He also ran from me when I first was going to take him to the vet. He tried to get in Mae’s crate. He must have known he was going to say his goodbye for now. As I watched him snore for a few minutes, he suddenly barked and it scared me. He then let out the saddest whine I’ve ever heard, followed by sudden peace.  Suddenly he looked happy. I wondered if he dreamed  of saying goodbye to me and then was content once he saw the gates of heaven. I wasn’t prepared for the multitude of pain I would feel after. I cried the entire time at dinner. Robbie tried to do his best to console me. I’ve dealt with many pains before, but I literally feel like I am losing my mind. Yesterday I could hold back the tears better, but today was a hard day. I feel hopeless, depressed, confused. I feel as if there is no hope, but I keep praying because I know God will heal me. I lost my childhood cat last year and while that hurt, this hurts even more. I tried to figure out why. Why could it hurt more? And then two things came to mind. First is, I lost my “supposed to be” first dog less than a week after adopting her because some ‘so called’ best friends neglected and abused her. I will never understand why someone who was supposed to be a friend did such a bad thing, but they did. I was determined to make sure Luke never knew abuse, only love. I know he did as a pup, but I transformed a submissive pup to a confident happy dog.

The second reason is something my friend Kayla said perfectly.  She asked how I was doing yesterday and told me that  it is okay to grieve. She told me that it hurts so much because Luke was my first child. She assured me that God understands my hurting heart and will reunite me with Luke one day. My friend has battled a few miscarriages, so she would know what pain feels like. She is right though...Luke felt like a child to me, esp since there is a high chance I may not have any human ones. Luke taught me so many things: patience, forgiveness, how to let go of worries and just live in the present. He taught me that dogs love in a way humans cannot. What I mean is, dogs love us unconditionally, the way Jesus did by dying on the cross. Us humans still sin because we live in a broken world, but animals never sinned. Proverbs 12:10 says that the righteous person care for their animals, and I firmly believe I did that the best I could with Luke. God knew everything before it happened, and while I may never know until I get to Heaven why his life was cut short, I do know he will be waiting for me to arrive, so that we are never separated again. Luke was my heart dog, which means he is the dog I’ve had the deepest bond with. Some people only have one heart dog, some have a few. Not every dog is a heart dog, it takes a special one to be it.

Luke fit that perfectly. Luke was very agile and enjoyed walking on his hind legs like a human. He knew how to bark on command, growl on command, dance, roll over, etc. He was such a smart dog. He knew that one time when my dad plugged two items into the outlet, the beep of the outlet was caused by that. So whenever my dad went to plug anything into that outlet he would whine. Luke loved adventure. Luke battled with his own form of dog anxiety...but let me tell you, walks and hikes removed that. He smiled from ear to ear when he was exploring with me. He could wander off leash on trails because he didn’t ever run off too far from us. He hated water but one time as a puppy he jumped into a lake to follow his friend Bailey at the dog park. He quickly realized his mistake and swam back so fast. Luke loved to talk and grumble. He loved fetch and tug a war...man tug a war...he’d latch on like a pitbull. I could pick him up and spin him around and he’d still hold on. He loved bones, especially the tasty ones. His favorite thing besides walking with me was cuddling next to me with a bone. As a puppy he would always walk out to potty with one in his mouth and he’d forget it haha.When he was healthy,  he would do anything to please me. He loved everyone. I will remember him for the amazing dog he was and not the dog he had become because of his disease. I will remember him as the dog that had endless energy, but would never leave mommy’s side when she needed him. He is the dog that is the most in tune with my emotions. If I am sad, he is sad. If I am mad, he tries to defuse my anger. If I am happy, he would bring me a toy. I will miss him dearly.

Romans 8:19-8:22 assures us animal lovers that God will make everything right in the end. 20 "For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of him who subjected it, in hope 21 that the creation itself will be set free from its bondage to corruption and obtain the freedom of the glory of the children of God. 22 For we know that the whole creation has been groaning together in the pains of childbirth until now.” Romans 8:19-22 ESV. While  my heart will never be complete until that day, I can rest easy that he is eagerly waiting with my cat Dusty, Becca(my would have been first dog), my grandma, my uncle steve, Robbie’s sister Christa, and her cat Sammie. The story doesn’t end here. God is so good to me, that he planned it perfectly where I would meet the perfect pomeranian puppy that would be my next service dog. He made sure the breeder held onto her and that no one else got her, because she is what I needed. God didn’t leave me empty handed. Mae is a great dog too...but Mikki is another heart dog of mine. Just when I thought I could never love a dog as much as Luke, God said oh yes you can. Mikki will never be Luke, but she has a very special deep bond with me. She is my dream dog personality wise and in beauty. She’s everything I wish Luke could have been, such as no anxiety and no disease, she has such a gentle disposition. She listens very well, very smart, and also loves to follow me from room to room like Luke did. God is so good. He knows my pain and he will help me feel whole again.

Me and Luke have a few special songs. The first one being Riverwalk by relaxmydog; this song can be found on google music. I encourage you to listen to it as it is a very happy, beautiful song. We listened to this song together all the time when he was a puppy. The other song is KEI Song by David Benoit. This song reminds me of the walks and hikes we took together, and playing in the fall leaves. It reminds me of cuddles and how loyal he was to me. The last song is Caravan of Dreams by Acoustic Alchemy. This sound reminds me of nice long summer days with Luke, and some of the adventures we had together with his puppy siblings. I’ll post the the links below. Thank you for reading this and for loving me through this hard time <3.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LdSonmsFKYg

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nQHCzM8umHE

https://play.google.com/music/m/T3ptpxqtfg6gawnbvi65a2jn6va?t=River_Walk_-_RelaxMyDog

Grateful for God's faithfulness

Today I want to share how God has been faithful, and to share all the little blessings I am grateful for. My God is a GOOD God and I cannot keep that hidden. I want the world to know! The first thing I am grateful for is God showing me that I am going to be used for his glory despite several illnesses that had me convinced would render me unless. More than once over the past few months when I felt I was a failure or garbage, God spoke truth into me. In those moments God whispered in my ear “I am bigger than any illness you have. Trust me”. It was a simple two sentences that had so much meaning to them. At first I thought it was just me wishing he had said that, but he repeated himself a few times to gel in my mind that he was speaking to me and his words are the sovereign truth. A month or so after the last time I heard him say that, I have to say with gladness that he has been faithful. I am seeing the right doctors to help manage my PCOS, and for the first time in longer than I can remember, I have been genuinely happy and cheerful. I don’t feel like my world is falling apart every day, and I haven’t gone into a depressive episode in a very long time. I actually feel like my mind is mostly balanced for the first time in my life since I was a young girl. I still have anxiety and depression, don’t get me wrong, but it is manageable with a few tools. God is helping prepare me to be working at my full potential in him. He isn’t going to leave me a mess and he does in fact have a bright future for me. Just a little while ago he reminded me of some of the good qualities he has put in me, and that those good qualities will be used for his glory and good.


If I were a dog I think i’d either be a border collie or a border aussie mix because those are some of my favorite breeds, and because we share a lot in common. I love to use my mind and will get bored if I am not doing something that is actively challenging my mind. I also love to lead and have an independent streak. I like to plan and organize. I am also an overseer. I see the big picture and how everyone will play a role in that. I am ambitious with a desire to become a director one day and maybe even own my own business where I am self employed. I love working with others, but doing the same tasks everyday would bore. I can see potential in everyone, despite their weaknesses. When it comes to their weaknesses I like to work alongside of them to strengthen them, helping them become the best version of their self they can be. Herding dogs are highly intelligent and will get bored if they are not mentally stimulated everyday. They also are gentle with their flock and work to help keep their flock in the best position possible. Similarly I have a desire to manage people in the workplace, being a transformational leader that listens to them and encourages feedback. I’d love to oversee things in the workplace and give people tasks that they will thrive with. Tasks that will make them feel important, and remind them how much they mean to the organization. I am not a person who could sit at a computer all day working on repetitive tasks, I need to be assisting and working with others. The more I pray and ask God to guide me as to what he has in store for me, the more he develops leader characteristics in me.


I used to give up if I couldn’t figure out something quickly, or kept making the same mistake. However, God has used several things to help improve that weakness in me. He has taught me to have patience with myself and to lean on him for guidance when things aren’t working. He has used each of my animals to develop different areas in me. Luke taught me that giving up too soon means you miss out on God’s blessings. When I first got Luke he had some issues from being abused. He also began territorial marking in my apartment and I couldn’t get him to stop having pee accidents. I was frustrated and wanted to give up so quickly, but my love for him kept me going. I am so glad I did because little did I know he would be such a blessing in my life. He compliments me well and he is my heart dog. He can make me very angry sometimes if he decides to resource guard a bone or not listen, but he also brings an unexplainable joy. When I first adopted Luke I had no idea how much dogs were going to be a huge part of my life, but I can say I love it. God knew how much I would love animals before he even created me, and he had a purpose for the bond I would have with them. They are a reminder of his perfect unfailing love, and they have taught me countless important lessons. They have made me a better person<3. Mae is a second runner up for favorite dog I’ve had so far, and she is so sweet and even tempered. I am really hoping she will become my next service dog as she is quite attached to me and smart too. The only thing she does that drives me crazy is not wanting to poop outside in the cold or pouring down rain. I’ve learned to not stay mad when she is stubborn because she is but an animal and she will learn what I expect of her in time just as Luke has. I couldn’t imagine my life without at least two dogs now as the dynamic seems perfect, and it is one of things in life I get the most joy from, aside from Jesus, God and my husband.


Another thing I am grateful is how well my husband and I go together. We literally balance each other out and are truly soulmates. My husband is highly intelligent and we both are analytical. He likes working on specific details and the technical aspect of things, while I enjoy planning and looking at the big picture. I am idealistic, while his realism reminds me when an idea may be not what I think it is. If one of us is down, the other knows how to fix it. My husband loves everything computers. I love everything animals. We both love good music from lyrics down to instrumentation. He is an introvert and I am an extrovert. We both love adventure and traveling. We both love Jesus and are ambitious. I am have the motivational gift of exhortation, while his is prophecy. We both are blessed with the gift of discernment of spirits. The Holy Spirit gives us insight as to whether something is of God, of Satan, or fleshly. He has the gift of knowledge while I have the gift of wisdom. Being gifted multiple spiritual gifts is a huge blessing and responsibility, so we are eager to see how God wants to use those in us for his glory and kingdom in the future.


One final thing I will comment on today is that I am thankful for God allowing me to spend time with Luke, my dog with kidney disease. I thought for sure Luke was going to die a few weeks ago and had begun grieving his impending loss. I would cry everyday wondering how I could handle losing him at the young age of 4. As a was an emotional wreck, my friends and family began praying over him because they knew how much he meant to me. Suddenly I noticed that he was gaining weight back and had in increase in energy. Also for the first time his gums were not dry, rather they were hydrated. He has been going strong for almost a month now and while I know his time will eventually come, I am so thankful to have him acting like a puppy again. Seeing him play daily with his little sister Mae and seeing him smile melts my heart. He hasn’t been in pain for a while and it’s just great what God can do. I really have so much to be thankful for when I look at it all. God has blessed me with great family, friends, animals, husband, college, ambition, healing and management of disease and illness, food, clothing, extra spending money, overtime opportunities to help pay off some bills, joy, safety, protection, fun. I could go on and on. I just felt compelled to share how good my God is to encourage you and remind you that he also desires to bless and grow you. While I am still far from perfect, God remains faithful in sanctifying me to become more like Christ. He reminds me that my future is bright since I am a child of his.

God has abundantly blessed me through animals (update August 2020)

As I continue growing closer to God, as well as the older I get, I realize more that God has designed me to have a huge heart to not only other people, but animals. In fact God has blessed me countless times through the animals he has gifted me with, from the timing that I received the animals to the experiences they helped me through. The fun and pure joy we’ve had together, their unfailing love, and the lessons they taught me are things I am grateful for. Since the blessing of animals has helped me so much throughout my life, I thought I’d share stories about each animal I’ve owned and how they have enriched and blessed my life. I’ll start with my dogs and then move on to my cats. Hope this blog brings you joy today <3



Becca Cherise: March 2013-Oct 2013

Becca was my true first dog. She was supposed to have a long happy life and she was perfectly healthy. She was so joyful and the moment I laid eyes on her I felt a connection that I’ve never felt so strong with any other animal I’ve ever owned. I felt like a piece of me that had been missing all my life had been found. I adopted her a few days after her spay surgery and trusted a friend, my best friend at the time to be exact, to watch her for me during the week since I was still in school and lived somewhere that I couldn’t have her yet. I was in the process of getting things worked out with my landlord so that I could keep her at school with me, and my friend and I had an agreement. The first day I had Becca she and I bonded extremely. She was so good, not one accident, and very sweet. She was me in dog form. When I left her with my friend she howled, barked, and cried desperately. I grew concerned as she tried to follow me out of the door, desperate to stay next to me.

Something didn’t feel well when I left her and even my mom said "maybe we should go back and get her". My mom said something in her spirit felt something was wrong...I wish I would have listened! That night my so called "best friend" and her family  began berating me about the name I chose for her. They told me it was too “human” and that they were changing it. They talked down to me and said  she was their dog now. I was very upset, but I chalked it up as them having a bad day or something, because I had never had my best friend treat me like that. Her older sister always talked down to me, but never her!  Well fast forward a few days... My landlord was going to drive to Columbus to get her since I didn’t have a car and he knew the situation was urgent. When I explained everything to him, he said that we needed to get Becca out of that environment ASAP. He was willing to drive almost two hours without accepting any gas money from me. I was so grateful and thought everything would be okay, until I got the worst call I’ve ever had to deal with a few hours before he was set to go get her. I had a vet call me saying that my friend’s sister brought Becca in and that her spay incision had came open. Becca was in excruciating pain and would need to be put down. It was believed that she had been neglected for a few days, which led to her opening her stitches(they didn't keep her e-collar).  My heart sank and I sobbed. I called my parents to see if there was anything we could do but surgery would have been too hard on her. I still feel the pain from this today and it still surprises me that someone i used to call my best friend would do this to a precious animal.  What I learned from Becca was that God gives dogs to show us his love for us through them  and that his precious creatures should only be allowed around people who will cherish them as much as he did. I forgave my friend and her family, as that is what Jesus calls us to do, but I am very strict on who gets to watch my animals to this day. Also forgiveness doesn't mean acting as if something ever happened, it just means letting go of the anger and giving it to God. Only my husband, parents and one or two friends that I know are genuine can be alone with my babies.  I know that I will see Becca again because she was so special to me. It just breaks my heart that she had to leave the world so soon because someone I trusted betrayed me.

Luke Bryan: January 2014 - April 2018







Luke Bryan, who goes by Luke, is very much like my first child/son. He is my first dog that I actually got to live with and watch grow from a puppy to an adult. I got Luke the summer before my senior year of college, two days after July to be exact. I gave myself a while to grieve the traumatic loss of Becca and was ready to open my heart up again that summer. I am very glad I made the decision because choosing to adopt Luke was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made and I can see God’s hand throughout the entire time I’ve owned Luke, beginning from the moment I spoke with his foster mom. It all started with a text asking about his personality. I then told her I was a college student looking for a companion to call my best friend. She texted me back saying that she wanted me to meet him asap and that she wouldn’t let anyone else see him until I got to. She said she thought I was meant for him and that my age wasn’t a concern since I was 21. I met him the next day and I fell in love with him the moment I met him. He chewed all over my hand because he was teething when I walked in, but I could tell he liked me. Just after a few moments with him I knew he was the one. He followed me around her house as I signed the papers and gave her the adoption fee. She was nice enough to keep him an extra three weeks for me because I was going on a trip the first few days of July. Luke has taught me so many lessons already and we have shared so many good memories. Luke has taught me patience and to forgive even if I was still mad. For instance, as a puppy he had a bad bladder and he also chewed a few important things, such as my laptop cord and phone cord(both unplugged thankfully). We spent every moment we could together my senior year of college and he enjoying going all over college campus. He helped me when I had to deal with a scary ex that tried to stalk me years after the breakup and hurt me. He has been there for me for some special moments such as me getting engaged and married. He also was there for me when I graduated undergrad and began grad school. He was there for me a few months ago when I found out I have a disease that could render me infertile. He loved playing with my husband so much as a puppy and still now. He is extremely attached to me and seems to get me well. 

He became my service dog my first year of grad school right after he turned 2. He did good with public access training and task training. He learned to assist with my anxiety and eventually my depression. He even can detect when I am going to have a migraine about 10 mins before it happens, and he makes sure I stay seated so I don’t fall over and hurt myself. We’ve shared many walks and fun play sessions together. He has always had some fearful/anxious behaviors due to being abused in the past, but for the most part I have been able to rehabilitate him with love. He is silly, mischievous, agile and very smart. Very cautious, a bit neurotic and very loyal. Loves to dance on his hind legs and learns new tricks in a matter of minutes. I have grown so attached to him that I can’t imagine life without him. He has shown me that like him, God is a loyal friend who will never leave his children. He is the reason I can’t imagine life without a dog ever again because he has loved me well and been a constant source of love, support and fun. It pains my heart that he may be going to heaven soon because of kidney disease due to a genetic defect, but I am honored to have shared my life with such a great dog. I am honored that God would give me such a precious gift. God must love me a lot if he gives me such great gifts like Luke <3. Luke has showed me that God’s love is infinite.

update: I lost Luke the second week of April 2018. He was doing so good until his health suddenly took a turn for the worst. I tried to prepare myself the best I could for the pain I'd feel losing him, but I wasn't aware how bad it would hurt. I miss him every day, but it comforts me knowing I will see him again. I haven't been brave enough to pick up his ashes yet, but I am thankful the vet will hold onto them until I am ready. Check out my post I made in honor of him <3

Leia(the first)





Leia is a border collie my husband and I rescued from an owner who just wanted to get rid of her asap because her kids abused her. She was around one and we kept her for a week before giving her to Wayne, a man who rehabilitated and re-homed animals in Athens, Ohio. Le was really loving and she was really attached to my husband. She loved playing with Luke but also liked to be the dominant dog. The reason we couldn’t keep her is she had aggression tendencies toward the cat and would lounge at anyone that came near Robbie or myself. I just knew living in a small apartment complex with numerous dogs and other college students would be a recipe for disaster. I am thankful for the week we had with her because we helped her find her permanent home and she was so loving toward my husband and I. Wayne helped rid her of aggression and she went home to a couple that had a lot of land. She taught me that I border collies is a breed that I adore and because of that we will get one in the future as soon as we get a house with a nice yard so we can play frisbee.



Leia (the second lol)  (born June 4th 2013)







We got Leia the pomeranian from a breeder in Kentucky. Leia was a retired breeding dog and was going to be re-homed, and since my husband in particular wanted a white pomeranian, we decided to add her to our family. Leia was very mild mannered and gentle. She also was ditzy and goofy haha. Our favorite thing she did was howl. It was so cute and I have a video of it somewhere on Facebook. Leia would not potty outside but loved to use the carpet...we found out later on why this was the case. She also loved to run around in circles and lay with her belly up for petting. She loved to bark a ton and even barked at the wind haha. She loved Luke at first but eventually was scared of him wanting to play with her. We had her for a few months and she still never got comfortable around Luke, so we decided to rehome her with the approval of the breeder. I miss her goofiness and her howl, but it makes me happy to know that she is very loved as the only dog in her new home. We also found out that the cause for her potty incidents was due to an unfortunate anesthesia accident that happened when she was spayed a week before we got her. Her new family had tests done and it caused damage to her brain. Poor girl. It was due to a veterinarian accident and not just a spay surgery to clarify. Thankfully her new family loves her anyway and I can always get updates on my sweet girl who has a human baby little sister now. 

My favorite memory of Leia is definitely sharing our first Christmas married with us. She did phenomenal on the road trip to my mother in law’s house and did good at the hotel too. She didn’t potty on the floor and went each time I took her out. Maybe she was meant to be a travel girl haha. Leia taught us that some gifts given by God are for a season and sometimes they are meant to be shared with others. Sometimes we have to let go because God is using us to bless someone else. The new family loves her and they were wanting a Pomeranian they could afford for quite a while. My heart is happy knowing she is being a blessing to them <3.

Update March 16th 2019 Leia is now living with another friend of mine because my other friend had to move somewhere that didn't allow animals. I wanted to take her back so badly but I had to focus on Mimi's sudden onset of kidney disease. Leia is still doing well and she remembered me when I got to spend an evening with her <3



Mae: (Born October 1rst 2014)

Precious Mae is the sweetest dog ever and weighs all of five pounds! We adopted Mae this past October at the Mingle with the Mutts adoption event. She is a purebred long haired chihuahua around 3 years old. I never thought I could find a dog I bonded with as much as Luke…..but I was wrong. I adore Mae and I am praying she lives a long healthy life with me. Mae is very calm and not a barker. She will occasionally bark if she hears a noise at the door, but otherwise she is pretty quite. She has a cute whine growl she does when she wants to be petted and she will paw at your hand. She gives me this special look of love whenever I pet her. Mae loves everyone and doesn’t have an aggressive bone in her body, yet she is mommy’s sidekick. Her favorite place is either to be in my lap or my arms. She is very silly too and she and Luke have the cutest friendship. They love to play and wrestle together.

Did I mention Mae is fiesty? If Luke is too rough or the cat tries to take her bone she will scare them with her annoyed bark haha. When playing she does this silly thing where she lays on her back and kicks her legs at her head while rocking side to side...and the best part is Luke will mimic that while they are playing. It’s hilarious. She is laid back but she can rip and run. She is very brave and will accept her challenges head on. For instance she will run up to the vacuum cleaner and bite it, while Luke cries and runs away from it haha. She is calm and Luke is neurotic/ high strung but they balance each other out well. She is perfect...except for being stubborn when pottying in cold weather. Eh, we’re working on it. She will hopefully be my next service dog once she gets the cold weather down haha. Mae has taught us that some of the biggest blessings come in small packages. She also has taught us to be gentle due to her tiny size, and she has shown us a glimpse of God’s sense of humor. Her desire to please us is a reminder that we should strive to please God everyday. Her unwavering obedience to us is a reminder that we are to obey our heavenly father. I love my Mae xoxoxox.

Update Sept 2019: Mae is as sweet as ever and she is a daddy's girl for sure. There is no one else she will jump three feet into the air for hahaha. She is doing well and we've had her almost two years now. My favorite thing about her is her sassy personality. She hates to get wet and she will lick her paws and kick like she is so offended. Oh and when she has had enough of her younger fur siblings she climbs all the way to the top of the couch and curls up. Out of all of my dogs she is the one that loves guests, strangers, etc. the best. Everyone is her friend and sometimes I forget she is a chihuahua hahaha.

She loves to play with all of her dog siblings and once she is done playing she will watch the two most energetic, Mikki and Petra, play while cuddling next to me or her daddy. She also loves hiking  and travel.



Milky Way aka Mikki: (Born June 3rd, 2017)

Where do I even start? Milky Way, also now as Mikki or Milkie, is my dream dog in literally every way. She
is such a blessing from God, and everyday I am amazed at how awesome she is. God put it on our heart to
get another Pomeranian from the breeder that we got Leia from since what happened to Leia wasn't her fault. In January, we knew Luke would only be with us at the most another year, so we thought it would be a good idea to start looking for another dog to be my service dog, and figured it would be easier to add another dog while Luke was still hanging in there. At first, I was going to train Mae to be my service dog, but she was too stubborn with pottying and way too distracted in public settings. We originally were going to get another retired breeding pom, until I saw the breeder post that she had decided to home on of the puppies she was going to breed because she believed the puppy would be happier in a home where she got more attention. The minute I saw Mikki I knew she was meant to be mine. When I looked at her, I thought about her fur representing the stars in the dark sky at night, which is why I named her Milky Way, after our galaxy. I also knew I had to have her, so we put a deposit on her and brought her home valentine's day weekend. At first I was concerned she would take forever to learn how to potty, or that she wouldn't be what I needed her to be.....but she proved me wrong. The second day I had her she learned she was supposed to potty outside(she used to use a litterbox) and she was very eager to please. I knew right away that she was really smart like Luke was and that she was going to be a special dog. Mikki is a very gentle dog and in fact, I haven't met a dog that is as sweet as she is. She is happy when she is by my side, whether that be out in public, at the park, or in my arms on the couch. She bounces back even if I have to correct her sometimes(because every dog has a little mischief in them). She is very confident, yet calm and easy going. She became the leader out of the dogs because she knew what she wanted and wasn't afraid to take charge. Yet when it comes to people, she knows her place and isn't concerned trying to challenge our position as the ultimate leaders of the household. Somehow she managed to get Luke to give up his bones, something he wouldn't ever let Mae do. 

 

Mikki learned how to walk nicely on the leash within a week of having her and she was potty trained by the end of the first week. After having her a few weeks, I knew she had what it takes to become a full service dog and she also had my heart. Similarly to Luke and Becca, I knew she was going to be a dog that had an extra special bond to me. Mikki loves to run around and play with Mae, but she always is ready to assist me if need be. She leaps into my arms every time I come home or whenever it is time to go somewhere. She is literally one of my best friends. She is loving toward everyone, but she has made it known that I am her world. She is so adorable, so precious, so perfect. She is my other heart dog and I am so glad that God gave me another one. He knew I needed Mikki and I believe having her is what has helped me handle the loss of Luke. She will never be Luke, but she is special just the way she is. She has learned each service dog task she needed too and I am grateful. She can alert to cortisol rises and low blood sugar drops. She can respond to sensory overload and panic attacks before they become full-blown. She can alert to nervous scratching and has helped save my arms and legs. She loves to play fetch and play with her sister Mae. She loves going for car rides, going to the park, going to the stores as she does public access training, etc.  She is always happy, bubbly and so in love with me. She did great flying to North Carolina two months ago. She loves to explore and go anywhere, as long as it is with me. I am excited to see our friendship continue to blossom. I cannot express enough how much I love her. She is the first dog who will always put me over herself, so I try my best to give her the best life ever, full of love and joy. She is going to help me experience a new found freedom as God continues to lead me down the perfect life journey he has for me. 

update Nov 10, 2018:

Mikki has exceeded my expectations infinitely.  She has learned to alert to my migraines 15 mins or so before the migraine kicks in, and she does a different alert for anxiety and migraines. She loves to make me happy and she is the happiest dog I've ever known. She is attached to me in such a special way! She is definitely another heart dog because she is just amazing and such a great friend and fur daughter. Lately she has been doing a new behavior before I have a brief minute where I cannot recognize where i am, or when I am going to have an episode that causes me to briefly lose consciousness. These are not related to my anxiety and are either part of a rare type of migraine called basilar migraines, or something else, as epilepsy and other disorders are twice as likely to happen to people who have migraines since migraines are neurological. I haven't gotten my results from an EEG back yet, but whatever it is I am so thankful for a service dog who helps keep me safe. When I had a spell where I almost fell recently from briefly losing consciousness, she would not divert her attention and gaze from me. She wanted me to stay sitting and she refused to potty until she knew I was okay. I just adore her <3 and she is why the Pomeranian is my heart breed. 

Update Jan 2019:

I recently got diagnosed with epilepsy and Mikki has proven faithful yet again. She can alert to them so I am working on shaping her alert into something consistent. She is so perfect in every way. I've never had a dog that loves to please me and help me as much as she does. Definitely my soul dog <3

Update September 2019: Mikki has adjusted to being a big sister and she loves it. She is the mama of the group even though she is the second youngest. She loves to groom everyone, and she will break up playtime if she thinks anyone is playing too rough. She may be the smallest, but she still is the leader of the dogs. Petra has challenged Mikki a few times and each time she has whined and backed down because Mikki takes nothing from anyone. She is such a good girl for me and she loves to help mommy stay healthy/ aware of impending seizures and/or migraines. She and Luke are 100% my two heart dogs. Mikki feels like a mini me. I'd say my favorite things about her is how nurturing she is and how she loves to be held like a baby by me. She will stay laying in my arms for hours if I let her. I just can't believe I am blessed to be her mommy.

Update August 2020: Mikki is still my biggest doggie blessing. She is my mini me and still the leader of the dogs. She leads them firmly but gently. She also is always by my side ready to help alert and assist with any of my illnesses. Even with Covid and not being out in public for a while, she still goes good if we go somewhere and I need her. She too loves adventure, traveling and surprisingly I learned this summer she doesn't mind getting wet and dirty sometimes. 

Marina aka Mimi: September 24 2014- February 26 2019

Mimi is a long-haired dachshund that we got this past August as we realized we missed having three dogs after Luke passed. Mimi is unique in that she has both a brown eye and a blue eye. She was a bit timid at first but she has come a long way! When I first got her she was instantly "my" dog. She respected me as her leader and she was attached to me. She would growl if someone we didn't know tried to approach us at night in my apartment complex and I appreciated having a watch dog again. She is super smart too. She had never been house broken, but within a few days she would only potty outside. She used to take forever to potty ugh..but I was patient and patience pays off. I knew I adored her the minute we brought her home, but my fondness for her continues to grow each and every day. Mimi is my cuddle buddy. She cuddles me whenever I am on the couch and she affectionately grooms me. Whenever Mikki grooms Mimi, Mimi begins to groom my arm or leg. She also is a natural alerter. She knows when I am about to get a migraine too she will begin to lick my leg and want to remain close to me. She doesn't have a mean bone in her body, contrary to what most people think when they hear dachshund. She may bark as an alert but once she gets to meet you she wants a tummy scratch. She is my only dog that loves to lay on my lap for hours at a time and I really appreciate that on days when I am sick with migraines, loss of consciousness, ect. because I feel loved.

 I love seeing her get to experience things for the first time and seeing the excitement in her eyes. She loves going for walks and she does a happy trot as she walks nicely on her leash next to me. She tends to be scared of men but is learning to trust Robbie and my dad. Now she demands belly rubs from them both! Once I began letting her sleep on the bed she has become more trusting of us and is the perfect dog too. She doesn't whine anymore and she doesn't have accidents. She may not listen quite as well as Mikki does, but she isn't really stubborn either. She and Mikki are my dogs through and through and they look after me. Two weeks ago I fell halfway down my stairs and did not recall what happened between my fall and landing other than I felt the impact and realized I had fallen. Mikki ran down to me and Mimi whined and howled before running down to make sure I was okay. They both licked me and followed me as I got up and walked back up the stairs. I was fortunate to only have a scrape.  Mimi has taught her that patience and hard work pay off. She also taught me that sometimes we have to go through things to get the bigger blessing and that the end result is always better. Like in life sometimes God wants to refine us to bring us to  a bigger and better place, and to become more like Christ. So he will have us patiently go through something and in the end we are so glad we did it. Mimi was never a hard trial or anything, but I did have to be patient when she was skidish at first. I could have given up and gave her back..but I made a commitment and I knew she needed me. Now I have such a good bond with her and I have learned a life lesson too <3

update Jan 2019:

She is still a little scared of men but has come a long way. Just yesterday she gave her daddy kisses and wanted to be held in his lap for a good 20 minutes. 

Update March 2019:

With a heavy heart I am writing to inform you that I lost Marina two weeks ago. I had only had her a few months and the most heartbreaking part of it is that she passed less than a year after I lost Luke. She seemed to be extra thirsty like Luke did when I first found out he was ill, but unlike with Luke she unexpectedly passed away one day. Honestly I am still in shock. The only thing taking my mind off of it besides prayer is watching my favorite show Jane the Virgin. 

Maui 

Maui is the newest addition to our pack. He is a brindle colored Pomeranian and I love how exotic he looks. Maui was one of my Christmas gifts this past Christmas as we have always felt we needed one more dog to have an even number and with all the diagnoses and health battles, we wanted something exciting to add to our lives. Maui is a very sweet dog and he is attached to my hip lol, although he loves his daddy too. He loves living with ladies but he is still a bit shy so he plays with them just for a second. He is pretty smart like his sister Mikki, which is awesome. I am convinced that the Pomeranian is the best breed of dog out there lol. Maui is really knew to the family but he has taught us that it is okay to love another boy dog after Luke passed and it's been healing having him. He will never replace Luke, but he will be another special dog in our lives. He has the potential to be a heart dog of mine like Mikki and Luke are. Maui is really chill and loves to cuddle in the lap. He did amazing with all the Christmas hustle, bustle, and traveling. I thought he would be super stressed but he was resilient and happy. We are hoping he likes to travel like his sisters Mikki and Mae do <3. Mimi doesn't like traveling as much but she has a special place to stay when we travel  for vacations as she stole the heart of my former neighbor Karen :). Maui so far has reminded us of the beauty in the differences between males and females. Luke had aggression issues from time to time, so we were convinced male dogs always have worse temperaments. However, Maui has proven that males can be sweet and gentle too. Male dogs tend to be a bit more needy and cuddly, and a bit more mischievous. Females tend to be more independent and easier to train, but also are very sweet. He also is a reminder that all good gifts come from above. We prayed for a good fit and were originally going to get another pom, but upon meeting the other one we knew he was a bad fit for our pack. Maui stole our hearts and his calm yet playful demeanor is the perfect additional zest we needed.  Oh and the fact that he escaped my fence just like Mikki escaped her harness when I first got her, proved he was meant to be lol. God is good all the time <3. 

Update March 2019: Maui is such a crazy hyper boy but I love him even when he likes to test the limits lol. He is a love bug and I am very glad we have him.  He has also learned so much and he is just amazing.

Update September 2019: Maui went to my friend's house with the plan of him being in a different environment while we pinpointed what triggered his sudden bouts of aggression with his fur siblings. However, the minute he got to her house he escaped her fence and was gone for two weeks. We looked daily, had the whole small town helping and everything. I thought he was a goner when someone spotted him again and thanks to the rescue team working with me, he was caught in a humane trap. It's been a few days since we have been reunited and he has been great. Hemp oil is doing wonders for his anxiety disorder and he has been getting along w his fur siblings like old times. During the scary experience of him missing, many thought I didn't love him as much as my other dogs because I always talk about Mikki being my favorite dog. Well I am telling you now I love all of my dogs the same, but everyone has one or two dogs in their life that are just more special than any dog. Maui is a great dog and I love him dearly, even if he isn't my heart dog. What I love the most about him is how I am the only human that matters to him and how much energy he always has. It's so funny watching him bounce around all the time. As traumatic as losing Maui was for two weeks, what made it even more traumatic was the judgement I got for something that wasn't my fault. Makes me appreciate those who truly value me in their life. 

Petra Yael (born September 23rd 2018)

Petra is a pomchi puppy that we adopted from the shelter a few days ago. She was found in California running the streets after someone dumped her, and she had an awful case of pneumonia. She was taken to a shelter where she was going to be euthanized because it was already over populated, but a rescue transported her to Ohio be saved. The moment I saw her photo in the oxygen cage at the animal hospital, I knew she was for me. Like I've said before, I just know when someone is going to be a part of my life the minute I lay eyes on them. I really believe that is because of the spiritual gift of discernment that the Holy Spirit has gifted me. Many people commented on her post, but the shelter gave me the app. What makes it all the more special is it's the same rescue that I got first dog Luke Bryan from, so it's like getting Petra was a special way to honor my late Luke as well. I was a bit nervous at first because I have a picky pack (Mae is prissy w new dogs, Mikki can get jealous, and Maui is scared of everything unknown), but I prayed with my husband and we felt that if we had a bond with her when we met her she would be the one. Her foster mom was super nice and had like 15 dogs at her house lol because 5 were hers and the rest were rescues. We met Petra (formerly Lila) and a chihuahua puppy named Itsy. Itsy was cute and she clung onto my husband, but she had some major jealousy aggression toward the other dogs at the ladies house, so I knew that was out. Plus, Mae our longhaired chihuahua is my husband's dog and he is her person. She would not like another dog stealing him away from her. Petra was sweet and a bit shy but also very chill so we decided she was perfect. We did a deposit and waited for the vet to give the okay for her to be spayed because she was still healing from pneumonia. 

Petra and I had a bond from the start when I met her. She was the only dog that wanted to be near me and she licked my foot. My heart was stolen and I needed her. The shelter thought she was two, but I actually believe she is much younger. Her teeth are perfectly clean(rare for a two year old dog that is small) and she is definitely all puppy. I actually think she is about 9 months, around the age I got Mikki. She is a very well behaved pup but she is very outspoken, outgoing, and confident. Mikki was a bit taken aback by her at first and made sure to establish that she rules the house. Mae surprisingly took to her quickly and only two days in she began playing with her. Maui was naughty and wanted to mark my beanbag the first days so he got time out. But now he wants to sleep in the same crate as her at night. Everyone seems to be getting along nicely. Petra is very smart and seems grateful to have a home of her own. It's so funny because she will play with every toy she seems, even the ones the other dogs didn't like. She also is good at entertaining herself with the ball. She will throw the ball and chase it herself hahahaha. Oh and she loves to eat stuff off the ground *rolls eyes* a tale tell puppy sign because Mikki used to do it too. Robbie is crazy about her too as if my family. She looks like a cute little tiny yellow lab. She has already been used by God to teach me some lessons and I've had her about 4 or 5 days. 

The first thing she was taught me is she demonstrated how it feels to be adopted into the family of God once we accept Jesus as our Lord and savior. She was once lost and heading toward death, which is all of our fates before we accept Christ. She was unwanted, sick, in need of healing. The devil wants us to believe we are unwanted, and unworthy. But God loves us oh so much and longs for us to accept Christ so that we can become joint heirs with Jesus and so he can work on healing us and blessing us. He wants us to have a great life and has a plan for us. Petra's end wasn't going to be suffering. She instead is cherished and will live a long happy spoiled life. She also gave me a glimpse of how God must feel when we accept Christ. I was overjoyed to give her a happy new start and I can only imagine how joyful God is because he loves us all so much. She also is teaching me not to be afraid of taking chances and to be open/vulnerable. What I mean is I struggle a lot with trusting people I don't know, especially other Christians because I am instantly sure they will hate me or judge me(based on some past experiences). I was afraid to get another dog after losing two of mine to the same disease, but I am so glad I took the chance again. I am hoping I can learn to take more risks with getting to know people at my church and making more friendships. Don't get me wrong, I adore my best friends, but I do believe that I am meant to make new friends too in every phase of life. I am so excited to see what our journey has in store and I couldn't be happier with our sweet Petra named after my favorite JTV character and my beloved favorite actress Yael Grobglas <3.

update September 2019: Petra is almost 1 and I can hardly believe it! She has been such a great addition to our family. She plays well with all her siblings and always keeps them on their toes with her puppy playfulness. Petra is the goofball of my bunch and I say her sense of humor is definitely my favorite thing about her.  She knows how to wave her paws in the air on command thanks to her daddy and she just is silly. Sticking her nose in your ear, making snoring noises for attention, tossing the tennis ball herself and chasing it lol, I could go on and on. She makes me laugh so much every day and she loves everyone and every dog she sees too. Oh and she likes to chase cats so we are working on that as my parents cats are not too thrilled about that haha.

P.S. I think she is actually a chiweenie (chihuahua dachshund mix) and she has potential to maybe be a third heart dog if it is even possible to have three of them. We shall see ;) 

Coconut aka Coco (March 3rd 2013)

Coco is a chocolate and tan Pomeranian that we got recently from a lady in Michigan. 2020 wasn't the year we expected it to be or the year that any of us have expected it to be, so we figured it was the perfect time to add some more joy to our lives, especially after having a rough end to 2019. Coco was actually a belated birthday gift to me from my husband and some other family, she has been planned since my birthday in April but due to Covid we patiently waited to bring her home at the right time, which as after she weaned her puppies and was able to get spayed. We picked her up almost two weeks ago and she has fit in perfectly with our pack and little family. I will admit, we were both nervous at first because Luke died so young due to being born with kidney disease and then Mimi having to be put down only a few months after owning her. And all of hte struggles I have had with Maui. But, we prayed before we got Coco and when we picked her up we knew it was meant to be. We took Mikki with us and I have never seen her so excited to add another dog to the pack. She actually whined when I pulled her away for a sec to grab the carrier for Coco because she thought we were leaving Coco behind. She licked Coco all over and Coco returned the affection. Coco loves EVERYONE. I mean she wants everyone to pet her and she knows no stranger. I don't know who is more outgoing her or Petra and Petra is quite outgoing and outspoken. She is also very sweet. She loves to cuddles and be petted and she will demand to be petted which is funny because Petra is still jealous of her so they are competing for their spot in the pack as Mikki is still top and Mae Mae has moved up to second place for now.

Coco instantly learned how to walk on a leash and was okay with walking down the sidewalk even with cars going by as soon as we got home, which is incredible because she has never been on a leash. But each of my girl dogs have always been fast learners. Mikki was house trained in two days, Petra was too. Mae Mae was a quick learner as well. Coco has a silly side to her as well. She likes to shakes her butt and hips from side to side and pant in a silly way and she also likes to roll around. So now I've got two outgoing goof balls in the house haha, Petra and Coco and a house full sweet dogs. They have their moments of playfulness, but then they all calm down and just want to cuddle us. It's perfect. I am so thankful and even though it's only been almost two weeks, I have already learned something about God from her.

Coco  is originally from a different breeder than the woman I got her from. She was bought as a young adult and then bred a few times before being retired. However, the first breeder who has her debarked her. I find that sad because she such a sweet dog and has been so easy to train, so I just don't understand. It just reminded me of something I struggle with. A lot of my life I have been told my value is dependent on whether or not I mess up, and if I make the slightest mistake I am not forgiven. Or I have been told that I am worthless, stupid, etc. I still struggle to see myself as who I am in Christ... loved, cherished, fearfully and wonderfully made, forgiven, and with a purpose...especially when I have disabilities. I have been rejected by some strangers, friends, ex's, and even family and it made me begin to think maybe even God felt the same. But as I heal my new dog and how I feel toward her reminds me of how God feels toward me. I think she is so beautiful and I love her personality. I love her even if her bark sounds small and funny since she was debarked. She has some skin problems and things that I am working on fixing as I put her on a better diet and I am so excited to see what some love does for her and I know that has to be what God thinks when he is planning good for me. I have a special purpose for her as I do all of my dogs and that reminds me that God has hope and a purpose for me too.

AND now onto the cats I've had 

Whiskers 1

Whiskers 1 was a white cat that we gave milk and food to when we first moved into our house when I was 4. Whiskers loved being petted and rubbing against our legs. My dad once saved him from loose dogs that came into our yard before we got a fance. He was a gorgeous white cat with stunning blue eyes. He taught me at a young age that animals are precious and something that God desires us to cherish.


Whiskers 2

We were given a grey tabby kitten when I was about 6 years old. It was a cute kitten and I was determined to take care of it. I dutifully cleaned the litter twice a day and fed it. Unfortunately it was a very sick kitty so I had to return it to the lady who gave it to us. God used that cat to teach me some responsibility and give me a glimpse of the blessings he had for us in the future.


Plants

The first cat that was truly ours was a male buff colored cat I found in the plants out back when I was about 8 or 9. I was allowed to feed him and play with him everyday. I was even able to give him a flea bath and let him live inside until he wanted to go back outside. He was a huge cat, the biggest I’ve ever owned and he was a gentle giant. He could get a little grumpy sometimes, but he never scratched me. He loved to follow me around and cuddle me. God used him to give me an animal friend I longed for.

Nema

About a year later we found a stray Russian Blue cat that didn’t have an owner. I found her the same day that I saw the movie Finding Nemo with my grandma and sister during spring break, which is why I named her what I did. Since she was a girl I changed to the o to an a. She was nice and loved my dad. She jumped on his shoulder everyday and is what changed him into a cat lover. She gave birth to my Dusty another year later.

Simba, Dusty, Karlie, Jacob and another black kitten were Nema’s kittens. I kept Dusty, Karlie and Simba. Karlie became my mom and dad’s kitten and the other two were mine. They’d run all around my bedroom and loved a scratching post I bought for them. Unfortunately Simba died at 12 weeks due to escaping and getting hit by a car. Dusty ended up becoming my first cat that was mine alone.



Dusty Marie: June 2005 - Feb 2017





Dusty was my first pet that I owned and cared for on my own. She was the sweetest brown tabby cat full of personality. She liked to be naughty and jump on the table or climb up the Christmas tree, but she was also highly trainable. She learned what go back into my bedroom meant and always obeyed that command. I bottle fed her because she was the runt of the litter and her momma cat would run off for a day at a times sometimes. She began purring before her eyes opened whenever I held her. I have never had a bond with another cat as much as her. She purred and slept next to me every night until I went away from college. She loved to play and mice with feathered tails were her favorite. She would let me carry her around all the time and trusted me. She never hissed at me, except for when I also gave her a brother cat haha. She was very jealous of all other cats except her older sister Ginger, who is my dad’s cat. She is the reason my husband loves cats now, despite his allergy. He loves how affectionate she was. I miss her meow and her purr everyday, but I know I will see her again someday soon.



Jonathan Randall : Born July 9th 2006





Jon was one of Karlie’s kittens(she got fixed shortly after) He was my favorite out of her litter, although I love them all. Tiger and Ava my father and I shared. Serena was his cat alone. Jon is another one of my heart cats. I cannot explain the bond I have with him either...but I get a sense of peace and joy like no other around him. He is a miracle kitty because he survived getting into antifreeze when young and he recently came back to my parents home after being gone for years. He is a very easy going cat that loves being around other cats and loves to be petted 24/7. He has the most unique white stripes on his black legs. I am so glad he is still alive and that he gave me a Christmas present by showing up the week before Christmas this past year. When he was a kitty he used to play with myself and Tiger in the backyard. He also liked to nibble my sister’s and I’s toes. Jon came to help me during my dad’s first stroke and to help me through middle school and I am grateful for that. Now he’s back to remind me that God is good all the time.



Chloe: June 4 2016





Chloe is a beautiful buff cat that looks like my first family cat Plants. Chloe is very sweet, outgoing, loving and of course mischievous. She is my third “heart” cat as she and I share a special bond too. We got her as a kitten after two months of being married and she fit in perfectly. Her fear of Luke quickly dwindled as they became besties right away. They loved to play and sleep together. Chloe loves to play with any toy even now as an adult. As a kitten she would jump high in the air and entertain us with her funny moves. She also could sense when I was about to have a panic attack and would lay on me while Luke also helped. She is the calmest cat I know and nothing bothers her. She acts like one of the dogs and gets jealous if they don’t let her in on the fun. She loves to lick my fingers too and my cheek like a dog haha. When we moved she was the only animal not stressed haha. She doesn’t mind what goes on as long as she has her family. She is a huge blessing from God because she is ready to help my our depression or my anxiety and she is so sweet. She taught me that God can heal us of our allergies because nothing is impossible with God. My husband is no longer allergic, and while I developed an allergy to cats after Odin, he has allowed my allergy to Chloe to be tolerable.

Update March 2019: My allergies took a turn for the worst and were actually causing me more migraines, so I made the hard decision to rehome Chloe. Thankfully she now lives with my former neighbor where she is so spoiled and only 15 minutes away. I miss her everyday but I am so thankful she is loved.


Odin : September 2017




We got Odin a week after Leia the pom found a new home because we missed having a third fur baby. Odin was a Nebelung cat and had a handsome long coat. Odin and Chloe were enemies at first, but became besties. I’ve never had two inside cats get along, so it was really a gift to watch them play. Odin was extremely attached to me to the point that he didn’t like me playing with other animals. He would still be my cat if it weren’t for the allergy I developed to his urine..and no matter what he kept peeing on the couch and carpet. We tried several methods before realizing that he was making me very sick. My throat began closing around him so we had to find him a new home. He taught us that sometimes things in life don’t go as we plan, but that God has a sovereign perfect plan regardless. He helped me through some winter depression and would cuddle next to me while I had bad migraines.

Ginger

Gingerale was my first indoor childhood cat. We got her from a pet store the year before Dusty was born. She was always a very mean cat growing up but she loved my dad. As she grew older she became more friendly and now even enjoys my dogs.

Update March 2019: Ginger will be 15 in two weeks, however she has sudden taken a bad turn healthwise and may not make it to her birthday. I am praying this is the last animal death we have for a long time because it is a lot for my heart to handle.

Unfortunately the next day of me writing this she passed away peacefully at my parents place. It's been hard she died just less than a month after Mimi.


I’ve had more cats than what I mentioned, but the other ones were either my parents cats or shared cats. I don’t have the time to list them all as that is well over 5 other cats haha. What I will end with is saying how rich my life has been thanks to each of these animals mentioned. My life would be so empty without the love of animals and I am thankful for a God who gives us these animals as a gift. I’m thankful that he blessed me with a heart toward his creation. <3  Also, I will continue to love more animals throughout my life and as I do, I will update this blog post with my future furbabies.